Top 50 Dumb Liberal Quotes

Without much preamble and hardly any ado, I present to you 50 dumb quotes from those on the left side of the aisle. From crazy ideas about toilet paper usage to freak-outs over balloons, this list will make you laugh and shake your head in disbelief (and maybe even vote Republican in November?).

1. Sheryl Crow on Environmentalism: “I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.’”

2. Joe Biden on culturalism: “In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian Americans, moving from India. You cannot go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.”

3. Whoopi Goldberg on 43-year-old Roman Polanski raping and sodomizing a 13-year-old girl: “I know it wasn’t rape-rape. It was something else but I don’t believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and [sic] when they let him out he was like “You know what this guy’s going to give me a hundred years in jail I’m not staying, so that’s why he left.”

4. Joy Behar on Economics: “Isn’t it a little racist to call it Black Friday?”

5. John Conyers on the Health Care Bill, which he voted for: “I love these members, they get up and say, ‘Read the bill … What good is reading the bill if it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?’”

6. Former DNC Chairman Donald Fowler on possible delay of RNC convention due to Hurricane Gustav: “Plus they think the hurricane’s going to hit (starts laughing) New Orleans about the time they start. The timing, at least it appears now, that it’ll be there Monday. That just demonstrates God’s on our side”

7. Barack Obama: “I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go?”

8. John Kerry on the troops: “You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

9. Howard Dean: “We know that no one person can succeed unless everybody else succeeds.”

10. Rosie O’Donnell: “Don’t fear the terrorists. They’re mothers and fathers.”

11. Al Gore: “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”

12. Congressman Hank Johnson on Guam: “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize,”

13. Alan Grayson on Health Care: “The Republican health care plan: don’t get sick … The Republicans have a back up plan in case you do get sick … This is what the Republicans want you to do. If you get sick America, the Republican health care plan is this: Die quickly!”

14. Nancy Pelosi on the economy: “every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs.”

15. Helen Thomas: Jews should “get the hell out of Palestine” and “go home” to Germany and Poland.

16. Wanda Sykes: “I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker but he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight … Rush Limbaugh — I hope the country fails. I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that’s what he needs.”

17. Bill Clinton on ordinary Americans: “African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.”

18. Barack Obama on a tornado that killed twelve people: “In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died – an entire town destroyed”

19. Harry Reid on Iraq: “This war is lost and the surge is not accomplishing anything.”

20. Kanye West: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”

21. Joe Biden on the economy: “The number one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S.”

22. Bill Maher on Christianity: “I think religion is a neurological disorder.

23. Joe Biden on History: “When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, ‘Look, here’s what happened.”

24. Ted Rall: “Over time, however, the endless war in Iraq began to play a role in natural selection. Only idiots signed up; only idiots died. Back home, the average I.Q. soared.”

25. Michael Moore on terrorism: “There is no terrorist threat. Yes, there have been horrific acts of terrorism and, yes, there will be acts of terrorism again. But that doesn’t mean that there’s some kind of massive terrorist threat.”

26. Henry Waxman on Environmentalism: We’re seeing the reality of a lot of the North Pole starting to evaporate, and we could get to a tipping point. Because if it evaporates to a certain point – they have lanes now where ships can go that couldn’t ever sail through before. And if it gets to a point where it evaporates too much, there’s a lot of tundra that’s being held down by that ice cap.”

27. Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, DC: “If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate.”

28. California Senator Barbara Boxer: “Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I’m still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.”

29. Wesley Bolin, former governor of Arizona: “We’d like to avoid problems, because when we have problems, we can have troubles.”

30. Senator Chris Dodd, while on the campaign trail: “Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again” Sen. Chris Dodd, on the campaign trail.

31. Melissa Lafsky, Huffington Post blogger: “[Mary Jo] would have thought about arguably being a catalyst for the most successful Senate career in history … Who knows — maybe she’d feel it was worth it.”

32. Joe Biden on the passage of the Health Care Bill: “This is a big f…ing deal!”

33. Bill Clinton: “It all depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.”

34. Jerry Brown, former governor of California, and current candidate for the same position: “The conventional viewpoint says we need a jobs program and we need to cut welfare. Just the opposite! We need more welfare and fewer jobs.”

35. Democratic Convention producer Don Mischer, overheard on CNN having an apoplectic seizure when the balloons failed to drop from the ceiling of the Fleet Center in Boston: “Go, balloons. I don’t see anything happening. Go, balloons. Go, balloons. Go, balloons. Stand by, confetti. Keep coming, balloons. More balloons. Bring them. Balloons, balloons, balloons! More balloons. Tons of them. Bring them down. Let them all come. No confetti. No confetti yet. No confetti. All right. Go, balloons. Go, balloons. We’re getting more balloons. All balloons. All balloons should be going. Come on, guys! Let’s move it. Jesus! We need more balloons. I want all balloons to go. Go, confetti. Go, confetti. Go, confetti. I want more balloons. What’s happening to the balloons? We need more balloons. We need all of them coming down. Go, balloons. Balloons. What’s happening balloons? There’s not enough coming down. All balloons! Why the hell is nothing falling? What the f— are you guys doing up there? We want more balloons coming down. More balloons. More balloons.”

36. Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, DC: “I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where’s Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less.”

37. Bill Clinton: “I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. I’ve never had an affair with her.”

38. Joe Biden, on the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen, who is, in fact, still alive: “His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.”

39. Al Gore on zoology: “A zebra does not change its spots.”

40. Rod Blagojevich, former governor of IL: “I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up.”

41. Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz on the newly passed health care law: “We actually have not required in this law that you carry health insurance.”

42. Congressman John Dingell on freedom: “The harsh fact of the matter is when you’re passing legislation that will cover 300 million American people in different ways, it takes a long time to do the necessary administrative steps that have to be taken to put the legislation together to control the people.”

43. Former Congressman Eric Massa: “Now, they’re saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.”

44. Congressman Charlie Rangel on our troops: “If a young fella has an option of having a decent career or joining the army to fight in Iraq, you can bet your life that he would not be in Iraq.”

45. Radio personality Ed Schultz on elections: “If I lived in Massachusetts, I’d try to vote ten times … Yeah that’s right, I’d cheat to keep these bastards out. I would. Because that’s exactly what they are.”

46. John Kerry on health care: “I’m going to be honest with you — I don’t know a lot about Cuba’s healthcare system. Is it a government-run system?”

47. Congresswoman Maxine Waters on socialism: “Guess what this liberal would be all about? This liberal will be about socializing…uh, um…Would be about, basically, taking over, and the government running all of your companies.”

48. Senator Harry Reid on Barack Obama: “…light-skinned,” and with “no negro dialect.”

48. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano on national security, after a man attempted to blow up a commercial airplane with a bomb in his panties: “The system worked.”

49. Nancy Pelosi on legislation: “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it.”

50. Joe Biden to Missouri State Senator Chuck Graham, who is wheelchair bound: “stand up … Chuck, stand up, Chuck, let ‘em see you!”

Cross-Posted from The Stir

Macacas, Mongrels, and Media Bias

President Obama was on The View this morning. I didn’t watch. Not out of protest or anything; it just didn’t seem like something that could possibly be of any interest to me. President Obama making an early campaign stop for 2012, Whoopi and Joy drooling all over him, Elizabeth trying to ask tough questions but not being able to do so, and that other chick that always seems to have a blank stare on her face.

Not exactly something I’m going to waste my limited time on. Instead of watching The View, I grocery shopped, did laundry, made beds, bathed children, cooked lunch, tripped over toys, cursed, told the toddler not to curse, and finally got them settled for nap/quiet time.

And then I started scrolling twitter, and I saw a few tweets that said something along the lines of, “Imagine if President Bush had called black people ‘mongrels.’”

Hmmm… who could it be? Joe Biden is always a prime suspect. Possibly Harry “no negro dialect” Reid, or Nancy “foot in mouth” Pelosi.

Turns out is was President Obama, during his View appearance.

When asked about his background, which includes a black father and white mother, Obama said of African-Americans: “We are sort of a mongrel people.”

“I mean we’re all kinds of mixed up,” Obama said. “That’s actually true of white people as well, but we just know more about it.”

The president’s remarks were directed at the roots of all Americans. The definition of mongrel as an adjective is defined as “of mixed breed, nature, or origin,” according to dictionary.com.

Obama did not appear to be making an inflammatory remark with his statement and the audience appeared to receive it in the light-hearted manner that often accompanies interviews on morning talk shows.

I find it offensive to apply the term mongrel to any person. It conjures up images of wild and feral creatures. I have been informed by a conservative black friend that this is not a big deal in the black community. The only thing I can say about that is that we have different definitions of “mongrel.”

The part of this story that really irks me is the double standard. In 2006, Republican Senator George Allen was thrown under the bus and dragged for miles because he referred to someone of Indian decent as “macaca.”

Come on, mongrel has to at least be as bad as macaca.

Can people stop pretending that the media is unbiased now?

P.S. I will happily print a retraction if the main stream media plays the clip over and over and uses it as proof of Barack Obama’s racism, as they did to Republican George Allen.

Joe Biden on Flotilla

I. Am. Shocked.

I am usually impressed by what our Vice President has to say, but it’s usually more in the “I’m impressed this idiot ended up as the VP of our country” category. Heck, he even has his own category on this blog- Did Joe Biden really just say that?

A few days ago, Mr. Biden made some comments about this whole Flotilla thing. Flotilla is a fancy word for small group of ships, it has nothing to do with carne asada or guacamole.

The Flotilla thing in a nutshell- There’s this tiny strip of land in the middle east called Gaza, and it’s bordered by Israel on three sides, and water on the fourth side. It’s filled with people that loathe the Israelis and want to kill them. They bomb Israel all the time, mostly with petty little bomb thrown over the border that don’t do substantial damage, but still suck and people do die. I wrote a little bit about the whole situation here, if you’d like more background.

Ok, so last week a Turkish charity group tried to bring aid into impoverished Gaza. MSNBC reports that the super mean Israelis boarded the ship and started killing the poor sweet protestors. Ok, I’m paraphrasing, but not by much. Go ahead. Click the link. If you can stomach it.

It has since come out that that “aid” was sent by a Turkish “charity” group with terrorist ties. And that the flotilla carried Jihads openly ready to be martyrs. In other words, they came looking for a fight.

Here’s the thing that Joe Biden said. That I totally agree with.

“They’ve said, ‘Here you go. You’re in the Mediterranean. This ship — if you divert slightly north you can unload it and we’ll get the stuff into Gaza,’”, he said. “So what’s the big deal here? What’s the big deal of insisting it go straight to Gaza? Well, it’s legitimate for Israel to say, ‘I don’t know what’s on that ship. These guys are dropping… 3,000 rockets on my people.

“Look, you can argue whether Israel should have dropped people onto that ship or not — but the truth of the matter is, Israel has a right to know — they’re at war with Hamas — has a right to know whether or not arms are being smuggled in.”

During the interview, Biden also blamed Hamas for the crisis that has wracked the coastal territory and for the ongoing state of conflict with Israel.

“As we put pressure, and the world put pressure on Israel to let material go into Gaza to help those people who are suffering, the ordinary Palestinians there, what happened? Hamas would confiscate it, put it in a warehouse [and] sell it.

I wonder what MSNBC has to say about that.

Joe Biden Redefines “Fair”

From Yahoo Finance:

Vice President Joe Biden wants all Americans to know about the roughly $300 billion in tax breaks that were part of the Recovery Act passed last year.

There’s also the issue of whether these tax cuts, in conjunction with the health care reform bill signed last week, represent a redistribution of wealth in America, as many claim.

“It’s a simple proposition to us: Everyone is entitled to adequate medical health care,” Biden says. “If you call that a ‘redistribution of income’ – well, so be it. I don’t call it that. I call it just being fair – giving the middle class taxpayers an even break that the wealthy have been getting.”(Emphasis mine)

Hey Joe, I think everyone’s entitled to a representative government. You don’t mind if we drastically slash your pay, do you? While we’re at it, I think everyone is entitled to organic meats and produce to feed their families. I would love to buy only organic, but the price is so high that I simply can’t do it. I demand a government subsidy. And why am I still getting a water bill each month? Isn’t water a necessity? Of all the things you can’t live without, I’d put water second on the list, right after air. It’s so unfair that I have to pay for water, when it should be a basic human right.

Are you getting the picture, Joe, or should I go on? Or did I just provide you with a whole new list of government programs? That’s a scary thought.

The fact is that people have rights so long as they don’t infringe upon the rights of another person. To say that one person has the right to a service provided by someone else is not fair, it’s insane.

She’s Not Dead Yet, Joe!

This is too good not to share.  From the AP:

WASHINGTON — Vice President Joe Biden asked for God’s blessing for the late mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen during a White House celebration of St. Patrick’s Day — except the elderly lady is very much alive.

“God rest her soul,” Biden said Wednesday night as he introduced Cowen and President Barack Obama. He quickly caught himself and noted that it’s Cowen’s father who is no longer living. Of the prime minister’s mother, Biden said, “God bless her soul.”

Biden then cited the Irish proverb that “a silent mouth is sweet to hear” and yielded the podium to the president.

I bet Dan Quayle is quite amused over Biden’s frequent verbal vomit.

Joe Biden: More Entertaining than a Circus Clown

Our VP can always be counted on to say the most insane things at the most bizarre times.  He did not dissapoint last night on Larry King.  Let me share with you some of the gems he dropped.

Regarding airplane attacks by Muslim extremists:

“I think what you’re seeing morphing here – and it’s a concern to us – is you’ll see the concern relates to somebody like a shoe bomber or the underpants bomber, the Christmas attack or someone just strapping a backpack on them with weapons that are indigenous and blowing up, you know, walking into in airport…I think there are going to be attempts.”  Biden also insisted that the Obama administration, which ordered a review of security and terrorism procedures after the Christmas Day incident, is prepared to deal with such attempts. “I’ve been really impressed with the success we’ve had, building on the last administration, in dealing with these.”

Hmm… I feel safe now.  Especially since the head of Homeland Security thinks the system works, but just in case it doesn’t, let’s steal pillows from toddlers during the last 90 minutes of all flights.

Regarding that three-letter word JOBS:

“I think now the jobs bill, I think, will be probably less than is needed initially, but it will be very helpful…by the spring, I think people are going to begin to have more confidence in the policies we’ve put in place.”

Is this the same Jobs Bill that extends unemployment benefits?  Why don’t they just go ahead and call it a “don’t bother looking for work because we’re going to pay you even longer to sit at home heckling the *rich* people providing for your existence”?  Too long?  Bummer.

Regarding Iraq:

“I am very optimistic about Iraq. I mean, this could be one of the great achievements of this administration…You’re going to see 90,000 American troops come marching home by the end of the summer.”

So he’s optimistic about having the troops home, not about Iraq or our own national security.  When the US leaves, the fledgling democracy in Iraq will most likely crumble to the extremists, and we’ll see all sorts of lovely new terrorist cells plotting the destruction of the US.  Perfect.

Regarding Sarah Palin (this by far is my favorite):

“I like her…She’s an engaging person. She has a great personality. I don’t agree with what she says and I think some of the things she says are not – well…Well, you know, it’s sort of like – some of the comments made are just so far out there, I just don’t know where they come from.”

Seriously Joe? Maybe you could explain some of your comments before you go ripping into Sarah Palin for her far-out comments.