Mr. Machete Espouses Republican Ideals … Then Bashes Republicans

Enjoying Balboa Park with Thing 1

Last Saturday, my mom and I took the girls to Balboa Park in celebration of Mother’s Day. We started the day at the farmer’s market, gathering yummies for a picnic lunch, then we went to the Titanic exhibit (Thing 2 declared, “Uh-oh, that boat broked!”), and capped off the trip with a stroll through the park to enjoy the street performers.

I love street performers. As a general rule, I never give money to beggars (sometimes a sack lunch, but not money), but to performers that have worked hard to perfect a craft that they use to entertain and delight people? I’m all for supporting that.

One performer caught our eye, so we wandered over. Dude was juggling machetes. It was pretty cool. Even cooler was when he hopped on a giant unicycle and juggled the massive knives some more, albeit a bit more cautiously this time. S’ok, Mr. Machete, you can juggle those giant sharp things as carefully as you like while riding the six-foot unicycle. I won’t judge.

While he was entertaining the crowd, he mentioned that he would be passing around a hat, and it would be nice if people contributed.

Let me interrupt myself for a minute to tell you that earlier in the performance, he had made a derogatory George Bush joke. It was not well received. He said, “Wow, I knew San Diego was a pretty conservative town, but George Bush! Come on!” More silence, to which he said, “It’s like I’m in Utah,” and moved on.

So he’s up on the unicycle, telling the crowd that it had always been his dream to do this, and our contributions were what made him able to do this, and that in America, anyone can have a dream and work hard and achieve their goals. Total Republican stuff.

As he juggled, the hat was passed, and he asked us to contribute what we could. “If you’re a Republican, put twenty dollars in and prove to me that trickle down economics works!” I was half-tempted to do so, and then ask for a ten back, because as a Democrat (I assume, since he was bagging on Republicans), he should totally be in favor of wealth redistribution, and I needed that ten to give to the beggar down the block.

People need to pay more attention to party platforms. Republicans want you to be able to work hard and keep as much of your money as you can. Democrats like to redistribute your wealth to cowboy poets and postmenopausal yoga classes.