Jenny Erikson - Conservative Blogger

Princess Ponderings — What’s Up with Sleeping Beauty?

October 31, 2012 by Jenny 2 Comments

The Ladies

There are all sorts of super heavy things to think about right now, what with Sandy wiping out the eastern seaboard, and oh yeah, that presidential election happening next week. Rather than tear my hair out or eat my feelings, I’ve been occupying my mind with other things, like which Disney Princess is the best?

As I was mentally taking stock of their various attributes and accomplishments, it occurred to me that I have no use for Sleeping Beauty, even though I thought I loved her because she wears pink and I like her fairy godmother code name — Briar Rose.

But really, what did she actually accomplish?

Ok, so my really real favorite is Ariel, because hi, she lives in the OCEAN and I love the BEACH. And the red hair connection. Also, chick was brave to sell her voice for some gams to chase her dreams of living in the human world. Don’t let anyone tell you no when you know you can do something.

There’s Snow White, who had to deal with a pyscho stepmom that hired a hit man to carve her heart out of her chest. Then she had to clean up after seven coal miners. Ok, diamond miners, but it’s all carbon anyway. Despite that, she never lost her kind and gentle spirit. I would’ve raised my eyebrow at that bitch with the apple and said, “You first.”

Cinderella is classic rags to riches story — the gentile lady forced to act as a scullery maid after her father dies and leaves her with the evil steps. Girl worked her hiney off. I would’ve let Prince Philip take me away too.

Tiana is the one princess I’m unfamiliar with, but I hear she has something to do with frogs and learning to accept the quirks of life — like being turned into a frog.

Belle showed tremendous sacrifice when she promised to stay with the beast to save her father. That’s character.

Pocahontas showed the white man how to paint with all the colors of the wind. And you know, like respect nature and stuff.

Jasmine wasn’t too snooty to fall in love with a street rat. She knew that looks can be deceiving, and she was more concerned with what was in someone’s heart rather than the crown on their head.

Rapunzel is the latest and the favorite of my girls. Girl was kept prisoner for eighteen years after being kidnapped as a baby. She finally escaped and found happiness.

Mulan? Saved China.

But what did Sleeping Beauty do? She lived with her three awesome fairy godmothers in a cute little cottage in the woods before pricking her finger and taking a nap.

What’s that about?

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Filed Under: Glamlife, Just for Fun · Tagged With: Disney Princesses

10 DAYS!!!

October 27, 2012 by Jenny Leave a Comment

I may be getting punchy toward the end.

I made a new friend!

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Filed Under: Just for Fun ·

A Laundry List of First World Grievances. Also Laundry.

October 21, 2012 by Jenny 1 Comment

Sometimes things don’t go your way. This is one of those times. Also no one who ever said money can’t buy happiness ever had to pay six quarters into a washing machine to make it work.

Broke as a Joke

No really. And it’s not funny. On my way home from work on Friday, I stopped at the corner store to pick up a Lean Cuisine (because glamlife to the max), and my blue card wasn’t working. Ok, how about the temporary red one? No? Yellow? Expired in September? Suuuuuck.

Meanwhile, I got a note in my mailbox that I had undeliverable mail from the bank at the post office because my name wasn’t on my mailbox. When I moved to Boston, I had to open a new account because my bank in California doesn’t exist in this state. Ok, I’d have to go get that on Saturday morning.

Friday night was spent tracking down a store that both sold wine and took checks, because I had no cards and no cash. Yes, I bought wine from a trendy boutique with a Phineas and Ferb check. What? You’ve never seen a desperate mom before?

No money — no way to get quarters for the laundry. Must waits for Saturday.

Saturday

Finally found the post office. Waited in line. Was lectured by guy at the counter to put my name on my mailbox. Was handed a thick package. Um, this doesn’t look like it contains my new bank card … more checks! Gah.

It was 12:30. The only banks open on the weekends around here close at noon on Saturdays. Until Monday morning.

And my T-pass expired.

Then I got slammed with some work stuff, which was fine because I was stuck at home with my dirty laundry anyway.

Also it was hot.

And my landlord took away my AC last week.

And I live on the 4^th floor and it’s hot.

And I have no clean clothes because the laundry situation is ridiculous.

And my leg still smarts from when I freaking fell on the T a few days ago because I have the grace and poise of a baby water buffalo.

And my jeans are tight and I have zero motivation to exercise.

And carbs are so yummy.

Whine.

Groan.

Boo.

Hiss.

Pffffftttttt.

You know you’re feeling gross when you look forward to Monday. Even if just for the bank being open.

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Filed Under: Glamlife, Personal · Tagged With: Boston, First World Problems

Argo and My Eclectic Friends

October 16, 2012 by Jenny 1 Comment

I have awesome friends. Regular readers will be familiar with Ashley, my partner in crime, but I am so blessed to have a plethora (how many piñatas would you say I have?) of dear friends. They come from different walks of life, but they have one thing in common — they all put up with me.

My teenage friend Madeline came to visit me in Boston this past weekend. She’s the daughter of lovely Hillary, and is a girl wonder. She’s visiting me from Dartmouth, where she’s currently studying French, humanities, and economics. I told you she was a girl wonder.

With the lovely Madeline

I’ve known Madeline since she was twelve, as my friend’s daughter and one of my kids’ favorite babysitters. I’ve loved watching her grow up, and now I consider her a friend of mine in her own right.

Meanwhile, I have this other good friend Justin. He’s a decade-plus older than me, male, and Mormon. I know, by all accounts, it doesn’t make sense, but for some reason we click as friends and work really well together as colleagues. He and I are both in Boston for Romney right now — he crunches numbers and I write about them. Basically.

I’ve talked to Madeline and Justin about each other, but they’ve never met, because why would they have? They live in different parts of the country and have nothing in common but me. Which brings us to this past weekend in Boston.

Justin and I took Madeline to dinner at The Melting Pot, because we both remember what it was like to be a poor college student and how NICE it was to be taken out for non-dorm food. She was instructed to pay it forward someday. Thankfully it was a much better experience than my 29^th birthday party, and no knuckle hair was singed by the flambé.

Leif tries to steal my friends. *tries*

We also saw Argo, which I’ll talk about in a minute, but I have to comment on my sweet friends first. Justin walked us back to my apartment, because it was late and dark, and he’s a gentleman. Madeline and I said goodbye, and as soon as he was out of earshot, she said, “Oh my gosh, I LOVE Justin! I totally get it now — he’s awesome!”

Meanwhile, Justin texted me, “Oh my gosh, Madeline is amazing! So bright and beautiful and always beaming … I totally get it now!”

My response to both — “I know, right??”

I may have an eclectic mix of friends, but they make me happy, and I’m so glad when they get to mix and mingle and end up liking each other.

So now back to this movie. If you get a chance, y’all should go see Argo. It’s the story of the Iranian hostage crisis in 1979, and if you’re informed about politics in the Middle East, just put your hands over your ears and close your eyes for the first five minutes and rest assure that the narrator gives the Hollywood-ized version of events leading up to the capture of the U.S. Embassy in Tehran and dozens of Americans who were held hostage for over a year.

But whatever. If we boycotted every movie that glossed over complicated political situations (especially when it might be Jimmy Carter’s fault), we’d have nothing to watch.

During the riot in which the Iranians took over the embassy, six Americans escaped and hid out with the Canadians for a while. This super smart CIA rescuer guy, Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck) came up with this insane plot to rescue them and get them back to America — by pretending to be a Canadian film crew scouting locations for a new movie called Argo.

I’m sure lots of liberty was taken in the retelling, but it was a good nail-biting adventure, and the end will make you feel all gooey and sappy for America.

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Filed Under: Adventures, Personal · Tagged With: Argo, Boston, Justin Hart, Madeline Taylor

Oysters

October 5, 2012 by Jenny Leave a Comment

Everyone knows that oysters are poison to children. The only thing that comes out of the sea that’s not poisonous to children is breaded and deep-fried and served with a healthy dose of catsup. Even then, not every kid will eat fish sticks. (mine won’t)

In case you doubt me on this, I refer you to Honest Toddler, who had this to say about how one should serve seafood:

Almond-Crusted Halibut and Green Beans
Step 1: Give the green beans to a homeless individual.
Step 2: Take the almonds off of the halibut.
Step 3: Put the halibut on a clean surface.
Step 4: Ask yourself what halibut is.
Step 5: Google “halibut” on your home computer.
Step 6: Hold back your tears when you find out.
Step 7: Gently place halibut in the outside trash next to the carrots.
Step 8: Order tacos.

Anyway, I’ve never tried oysters. Because I was a kid, then I was a vegetarian for years (I know, I can’t explain it either), and then because they freaked me out because they look like giant boogers on half shells.

Seriously. Who decided to crack open the rocky looking things and eat the slimy stuff in the middle?

Ashley loves oysters, and said I had to try them. She said something about them tasting like the sea. I love the ocean. I love salt. I love fish. Seems like a perfect fit.

Justin loves oysters too. “They’re sooooo good!”

I’m living in Boston right now, which I associate with oysters, because clam chowder, and clams and oysters are like totally the same thing because they’re bivalves.

Huh. I did learn something in high school biology.

So last night Justin convinced me to eat oysters.

They were … slimy.

And salty.

They tasted like ocean slime.

I had one and didn’t hate it. Had another and didn’t love it. Had a final one and then ordered champagne and a steak.

Next time I’m ordering shrimp cocktail.

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Filed Under: 30 Things, Adventures, Personal, Uncategorized · Tagged With: 30 Things, Boston, Oysters

Mitt Romney and the Lying Trash Man

October 2, 2012 by Jenny 7 Comments

The afscme, a service employee public union, has released some short videos featuring people who have worked in Mitt Romney’s upscale San Diego neighborhood.

Richard Hayes is a garbage man whose route includes La Jolla, the ritzy suburb where Mitt and Ann have a home. In the video clip, Mr. Hayes says that many times citizens will come out to give them hugs and Gatorade, to thank them for the job that they’re doing. He also says that he picks up 15 to 16 tons of garbage by hand.

Red light! Red light!

I live in San Diego. I haven’t seen a garbage man get out of the truck for residential trash pickup in years; possibly decades. It’s one of those things I’ve thought about that my kids might never see, like phones with cords or cassette tapes.

San Diego issues every single-family residence an approved trash receptacle. The garbage goes in, and on trash day, someone has to pull it out to the curb. The trash men cometh on your assigned day, in their air-conditioned trucks, and they stop next to the can. Then a robotic arm shoots out, grabs the thing, and dumps it into the back of the truck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmhverQzSYw&feature=relmfu

It’s not exactly the hard physical labor it once was, and certainly nothing is done by hand.

Mr. Hayes says that when he’s 55, 60 years old, his body is going to be broken down. Broken down from what? A sore finger from pushing the button to make the robot arm pick up the trash?

Just in case you didn’t know, San Diego has some of the most insane employment and retirement benefits. You can read about them here. So this guy is going to drive around in a truck until his mid-fifties, then basically retire on a full pension complete with healthcare, and thanks to the way the system is set up, he can even double dip by getting another job with the city. After all, who retires at 55?

This guy has a cushy job, and it’s on my dime. I’m paying taxes so this guy can retire at 55 while I have to continue to work, because in the private sector, no one is offering me an insane pension that will pay out even more than I made when I was actually working.

Mr. Hayes, I’m so sorry that Mitt Romney didn’t come out to give you a hug for pushing the trash button on your truck’s instrument panel. This is what we like to call a first world problem.

Endnote: When Mitt Romney was running for governor of Massachusetts, he spent a day a week doing odd jobs that everyday Americans do, in order to gain appreciation and understanding for what various people do in their day-to-day lives. This excerpt is from his book No Apology: The Case for American Greatness:

“One day I gathered trash as a garbage collector. I stood on that little platform at the back of the truck, holding on as the driver navigated his way through the narrow streets of Boston. As we pulled up to traffic lights, I noticed that the shoppers and businesspeople who were standing only a few feet from me didn’t even see me. It was as if I was invisible. Perhaps it was because a lot of us don’t think garbage men are worthy of notice; I disagree – anyone who works that hard deserves our respect. – I wasn’t a particularly good garbage collector: at one point, after filling the trough at the back of the truck, I pulled the wrong hydraulic lever. Instead of pushing the load into the truck, I dumped it onto the street. Maybe the suits didn’t notice me, but the guys at the construction site sure did…”

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