So we’ll just call this Thursday and change, kind of like how I’m going to be 29 and change in a year instead of 30. Kapish? Excellent.

This Week at The Stir:

While I was at CPAC, the silly kids from the Occupy crowd tried to cause a ruckus. Jerks. Smelly, smelly jerks. How the media praises them and vilifies the Tea Party makes me ill.

I wrote about Media Matters and their leftest agenda. Which I totally don’t have a problem with, by the way. I do have a huge problem with their bias when they claim 501(c)(3) status as a nonprofit organization. By the way, Instapundit picked this one up. I’m just bragging. That’s all.

Did you hear about the little girl that had her unhealthy turkey sandwich confiscated by a government official? The school replaced her sack lunch with a hot meal from the cafeteria, of which the four-year-old ate three chicken nuggets. Yeah, so that happened.

President Obama wants to cut back our nukes by 80%. Now that’s just plain stupid.

This Week at Moms Matter:

I did a bad, bad thing in the eyes of the feminists. I failed to see how the legal right to end the life of my unborn child is more important than the economy, national security, education, job creation, energy exploration … should I go on?

This Week on Twitter:

Keith Olbermann blocked me, so that was exciting. I feel like I’m part of an exclusive club now. If someone tells me where the meetings are, I’ll bring the wine.

Ohmygosh! A pretty girl wore a skirt! Hold the presses! What could she possibly mean by her wardrobe choices? Is it scandalous? Is she advertising?

Geez louise, the things people say are crazy. The chick has nice legs. She showed them off. The last time I checked, this was America, not Saudi Arabia, and women are allowed to show a little leg.

Tina followed the well-dressed girl’s ‘pick one’ rule, which may be a real thing or something I just made up because I like making up my own rules. The ‘pick one’ rule works like this: Pick one physical attribute to play up a bit, then keep the rest covered up.

It’s part of that whole ‘keeping the mystery alive’ thing that mamas used to teach their daughters.

There’s nothing in the world wrong with being pretty. Any girl can be pretty, because pretty comes from being happy and healthy, with a touch of makeup and some shine serum for your hair. Flattering wardrobe choices help too. Maybe the most important ingredient to the pretty equation is being comfortable in your own skin — comfortable enough to wear a short skirt and show off your gams.

When pretty girls show off their legs, or their shoulders, or a little bit of cleavage (remember, not all at once!), it isn’t an invitation or a proclamation of sluttiness; it’s an announcement that they’re confident, capable ladies who take pride in their appearances.

I can’t speak for all of my female compatriots, but I even enjoy flattery. I’m not offended to be called pretty or hot. I’m not offended that my husband’s nickname for me is Sexy. I like that he notices my looks and approves. It makes me feel pretty, and that is one of the best parts of being a chick. Well, that and we smell better.

Nothing Wrong with Legs (Or Steven Crowder)

“I want to lick the Liberty Bell.”

“I’m sorry … what?”

That’s the conversation that Justin Hart and I shared on Friday night. Not being obsessed with How I Met Your Mother (seriously guys, it’s on Netflix streaming. Go watch it. You’re welcome.), the poor guy had no idea what I was talking about.

Especially given that we were in DC, and even though there are tons of national monuments and totally important historical things there, the Liberty Bell is in Philly.

It’s called a metaphor, Justin.

There’s this great episode of How I Met Your Mother in which Barney takes Ted to Philadelphia to hook up with some girls, and it turns out to be kind of lame, but then before they fly back to New York, Barney decides he wants to lick the Liberty Bell because why not? Life is for living. Grab it by the crack and lick the crap out of it.

My favorite place on the planet (so far) is the Lincoln Memorial. I don’t know. I just love it. I’m always so jealous I have to share it with the crowds because all I want to do is sit there and revel in it. Read the second inaugural address out loud. Wonder what would’ve been different if Lincoln hadn’t died when he did. Think freedom-y thoughts.

I wanted to experience that. So I did what any other completely ridiculous person would do and decided to sneak into the Lincoln Memorial. Because why not?

“YOU ARE NOT SNEAKING INTO THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL.” (That was Justin. Wuss.)

“I am not bailing you out. I have to work in the morning.” (That was Ashley. She had a legitimate excuse.)

“Come on, let’s just go and case the joint. Come on! Let’s go!” (That was me. I was determined.) “What’s the worst that could happen? Someone might ask us to leave?”

“Someone might ask us to leave by way of prison, JENNY.”

“There’s hardly any chance at all that could happen. Let’s go! Peer pressure, peer pressure, everybody’s doing it!”

“No one is doing it but you, and you’re reckless.”

“I am not reckless. Now let’s go sneak into the Lincoln Memorial.”

It’s really hard to argue with me sometimes.

Anyway, that’s how I ended up at the Lincoln Memorial at one a.m. on a Friday night Saturday morning, totally licking the crap out of the crack of life. And we totally didn’t get arrested.

When Justin finally pried me away from my boyfriend Abe, he thanked me for dragging him out there, because who knew you could walk right up to a national monument in the middle of the night?

It’s your life. Now go live it.

(And please try not to get arrested.)

Horrible Photo. But 'Pics or It Didn't Happen."

I think it’s a great plan. I’ll let you know how it goes. In about 500 years.

Here’s the stuff I wrote on teh internets that wasn’t here:

This Week at The Stir

Was Clint Eastwood’s Halftime in America Super Bowl about politics? I say yes. You’re shocked, I know.

Get yer tinfoil hats ready, I’m talking about drones coming to the private sector.

This Week at Moms Matter

Which candidate do I support over Obama? The Republican.

It is past time for the Department of Education to go.

Happy Reading!

We chatted a bit about what it’s like to be here, what it was like to meet Chuck Wollery, and the conspiracy theory about what happened in our hotel room before we checked in. Plus we had the top seven stories of the week, so you can impress your boss, your friends, or your fellow CPACers at the bar this weekend.

1. Gisele Should Shut Up and Just Look Cute
2. Obama’s Contraceptive Deception
3. A chat with Vikrant Reddy
4. Drones: Coming to a Spy Store Near You
5. Is the Government Spying on Our Tweets?
6. Glitter Bomber Jailed for Throwing Tiny, Sparkly Missiles
7. Mess in the UN: China and Russia Team Up for Special Interests in Syria

Happy listening!

I wanted to surprise her with dinner and an amazing gift, but I ran out of time. Which reminded me of how blessed I am that I get to do what I do in part because I not only have an amazing mom that helps me with my job now, but also because I have an amazing mom that raised me not to be afraid of anything,

So I will just leave y’all with a list of the top 25 reasons (in no particular order) of why I love my mama. <3

1. You taught me the importance of proofreading.
2. The night we stayed up until 1am finishing my Ann Frank diorama in middle school.
3. The mother-daughter trips we took to South Carolina.
4. The afternoon you killed the black widow, then held me while I cried because something died.
5. For hiring the contractor to build the stairs to the loft in my room after you figured out I was climbing up there anyway by sheer monkey-power.
6. Because you told me I was smart and beautiful every day of my life.
7. The Hawaii trip, when eight-month-old Thing 1 screamed the entire way from the airport to the impossible to find hotel … in the rain … in the dark.
8. When you made the gummy bears dance when we were stuck in traffic on the way back from the desert.
9. For my great grandma Gladys, whom I miss more and more as I get older.
10. Sunday dinners.
11. You always made me plead my case … and therefore taught me how to argue my point.
12. Free babysitting.
13. You share a birthday with Ronald Reagan (had to throw that in there).
14. For laughing at that last one (I know you did).
15. You showed me what it means to be a mother – loving unconditionally.
16. For the dollhouse … I can only now imagine the horror of arriving home and finding out it was a bunch of sticks to be assembled. But we did it!
17. You taught me how to cook (Leif says thanks, by the way).
18. I’m sure it was you that made dad take me out on father-daughter dates to buy shoes every time a boy broke my heart.
19. The china at my wedding.
20. My wedding.
21. However many times you ended up in the principal’s office, not because I was naughty per se, but because I had proved my teacher wrong on something, and they were displeased.
22. For never punishing me for standing up for what I believed in, even if it resulted in a trip to the principal’s office for mouthiness.
23. For paying for all the medical treatments for my broken bones, illnesses (Hello hospital stays for pneumonia and mono), and general care. I’m paying for it for my kids now, and WOW(!) it’s not cheap.
24. For encouraging me to follow my dreams.
25. For being my role model.

I love you so much, Mama.

Happy birthday!

On Wednesday, I wrote an article for The Stir in support of Susan G. Komen for the Cure pulling their funding from Planned Parenthood. I expected some nasty comments, but was unprepared for the level of hate I received over it.

I got called a whole host of nasty things, but the general theme was, “Jenny is a f*cking liar spreading hate speech with her disgusting anti-choice lies.”

Whoa. What did I say that could induce such vitriol?

Besides, Planned Parenthood doesn’t even offer mammograms, which are the surest way to detect early signs of cancer. How much money do they need to be able to tell a patient, “Yup, that feels like a lump — here’s the number for a place that can actually help you”?

Meanwhile, Planned Parenthood pushes abortions, lies about fetal development, and gives advice to pimps on how to set up brothels full of underage sex slaves. Think abortion accounts for only 3 percent of their services provided? Think again.

All backed up with links. But of course, those links don’t count, because they take you to sites like LifeNews.com, or even my own blog, to a guest post from a friend about her personal experience with post-abortion syndrome.

So apparently that friend is lying about her personal experience and emotions. Um, ok.

These are people that probably think Media Matters for America is a credible news source. I could link them to a list of articles on Big Journalism detailing what a shady organization MMFA is, but since it’s Big Journalism, I’d probably just be spreading more vicious lies.

After the first 200 (there are currently 300+) comments, I started mentioning it on Twitter, and some of my friends jumped to my defense. Ben Howe went to town in the comments, politely and firmly defending me, the truth, and life. Jason Whitman wrote an article featuring the piece. Susan Cloud rallied the troops on Twitter, and booked me on The Mark Davis Show to talk about it.

So Mark and I chatted about it, and of course it was totally fun doing a radio hit, even if the subject matter wasn’t so pleasant. Click here to listen: Jenny on The Mark Davis Show 2/3/2012

While I was on the air, news broke that Komen reversed their decision, and would continue to fund Planned Parenthood. That made me so mad, I could spit nails. Did they bow to the nasty pressure exerted by the far liberal left, or was it their intention all along to get a boost in donations?

Later, Komen board member John Raffaelli told Greg Sargent from the Washington Post that nothing is set in stone:

“It would be highly unfair to ask us to commit to any organization that doesn’t go through a grant process that shows that the money we raise is used to carry out our mission,” Raffaelli said. “We’re a humanitarian organization. We have a mission. Tell me you can help carry out our mission and we will sit down at the table.”

So now maybe Komen won’t continue funding in the future? What side of the fence are you on, Komen? Stop yanking us around. You guys can spend your funds as you see fit, and we can choose whether or not to donate to you based on the organizations you support. You’re not making anyone happy trying to straddle both sides of the fence.

Seriously we had so much to say about Susan G. Komen, Planned Parenthood, the Rangers, Josh Hamilton, and drinking as a recovering alcoholic or a pregnant lady… that we didn’t have time for anything else!

So forgive us this one time for doing Two Hot Topics from Two Hot Chicks instead of our regular Top 7.

We’ll see you guys next week with seven topics, live from CPAC in Washington, DC.

Happy listening!

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

This Week at The Stir:

I wrote about author Charles Murray and his ‘elitist bubble’ concept published in his new book, Coming Apart, The State of White America, 1960-2012. I scored a 37. I think that number, like my age and my weight, is just a number.

Apparently food stamps are going to fix the economy. They’re going to fix it so well that the government is giving out $75,000 grants to groups that devise ways to sign more people up for food stamps.

This one on Susan G. Komen defunding Planned Parenthood got such a hateful reaction that Mark Davis’s producer Susan contacted me to be on the show tomorrow morning to talk about it. Some people are just mean. If you’d like to listen in, I’ll be on at 7:04 Pacific, which means I’ll be locked in the garage or something while poor Leif wrangles the kids to get ready for school. I love you, Honey!

The Latest on Moms Matter:

This State of the Union Analysis is technically from last week, but seeing as CafeMom hasn’t posted this week’s article yet, I thought I’d include it anyway. Hey, it’s my site, I can post what I want to!  (Even emoticons!)

What Happened on Glee:

Glee was new this week, which means I shut everyone out of my bedroom at 8pm on Tuesday to watch high school musical drama, write about it, and call it ‘work.’ My job kinda rocks. I ended up talking more about my marriage than the show though.

Happy reading!

Because that’s the way life goes.

My mom was taking care of her that day, and they were at bible study. Thing 2’s class was on the playground, and apparently the little dare devil decided to jump onto or off of the monkey bars. The details remain unclear, but Thing 2’s account of it was, “I was on dah playgroun’, an’ I was on dah monkey bars, an’ den I went ‘weeeee!’ Den nobody catched me.”

(I was going to play a video here, but I can’t work the technology, which is totally annoying, and also why I need a technical assistant. Interested in applying? I pay in gummy bears. Meanwhile I’ll just put up a photo.)

Toothless Wonder

One tooth was lost on the playground, the other shortly thereafter at the dentist’s office. And a molar was cracked. A molar not ‘scheduled’ to fall out until she’s twelvish. I was just going to let it be, until I found out that without a bridge, she could develop speech issues, and speech therapy is way too much to wrestle into my schedule, so new teeth it is.

Only insurance doesn’t cover a bridge, because it’s cosmetic. Oh, and they don’t cover porcelain crowns either, only silver. And this is a tooth she will have until middle school. All said and done — close to $800 in dental work. Thank goodness we keep an emergency fund for rainy day expenses like that.

See? That’s what some people do. They forgo fancy restaurants and fun new toys so that when unexpected expenses occur, they can cover the cost. If we were too poor for whatever reason, the group of mamas and grammas at bible study that day all offered to pitch in their own money to help us out, even though it was none of their faults. Communities rally, given the chance.

And I’m sure the dentist would’ve been willing to work out a payment plan, had it come to that.

Anyway, today was the big day that Thing 2 got her new teeth. She was a trooper, the dentist and his assistant were awesome, and my little hooligan is so proud of her new teeth.

When we got home, she climbed onto the kitchen counter and jumped off. Time to start socking away cash into the rainy day fund again…

Smile, Cheese Ball!