Back to Political Commentary? Sure, Why Not?

Months and months ago, when I was going through the emotional throes of holy crap I think my marriage is over and what the eff am I supposed to do about that, a friend said to me, “Can you please make a decision so you can get back to snarky political commentary? In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s quite a bit going on.”

Whatever. The president said they were all phony scandals, so he must be right or I’m a racist. Pfffttt.

Last fall when I was on the Romney campaign, we weren’t really allowed to tweet. Well, we could but we couldn’t. Sometimes except certain times. Only if it was a good tweet, but not too good. Never on Tuesdays or after dark. Unless there was a debate. In other words, the tweeting policy was clear as mud.

Because nothing says Voter Engagement like reclusiveness.

I finally gave up trying after I was chastised for tweeting, “Lady smarts > lady parts.” Yes, I cried, because I’m a TOTAL PROFESSIONAL. Seriously though, if I couldn’t win with that tweet, then the whole thing just seemed hopeless. I should’ve known right then that we were going to lose.

Anyway, I was talking to Justin, one of my favorite friends in the Boston trenches with me about it, and said that once the campaign was over I wanted to go back to commentary. “I think my first tweet after the campaign shall be, ‘I’m back, bitches.’”

Then he blushed because he’s LDS and doesn’t say the B-word.

Er, um … neither do I. Except sometimes.

Obviously, my cussing policy is very similar to the Romney tweeting policy, which can basically be summed up as: Don’t get caught by the wrong people. Sorry if you’re reading this, Dad.

Of course, it’s been nine months since the campaign ended (nine months!!!), which is not only the correct amount of time to grow a human, but also apparently just about right for getting over a spectacular political loss. Not to mention a bunch of personal crap.

Since then I’ve been plodding along, keeping up with some news, doing some behind-the-scenes freelance writing for some candidates, and doing other very important things like learning how to curl my hair. Yes, I was 30 before I learned how to properly work a curling iron. Stop judging me. Judgey people are only allowed to visit between 2-4 pm on the sixth of never.

Anyway.

A couple of weeks ago I got a message from the lovely Christine, who knew me from being on with Chip and LaDonna once upon a time for the whole Victoria’s Secret hullabaloo. She’s now producing for Rick Amato’s new Internet TV show, and would I like to come on?

Rick and I go way back, like three years or longer! I’ve been on his radio show a handful of times, and we’ve spoken at some of the same Tea Party events.

Would I like to do a media appearance to comment on some current events from a conservative mommy blogger’s perspective? Um, yes.

All that to say … I’m back, bitches.

(Sorry Dad.)

So I was on a panel yesterday, Token Female Style, to discuss expatriates and gender-bender issues. I’ll post a clip when they get it archived.

Thoughts on Record Expatriatism

There’s this new law that’s killing Swiss bank accounts, because the U.S. is now demanding that all financial institutions report on American citizens’ bank activity — anywhere in the world. You know, so they can be sure to squeeze every last drop of blood out of people’s wallets in the name of taxes.

So people living and working abroad are denouncing their American citizenship in record numbers. The tax rate is capped in Hong Kong at 15 percent.

And liberals scratch their heads at this phenomenon, because paying taxes is supposed to be patriotic.

Meanwhile in California

Jerry Brown signed a law that says all students in public school grade K-12 get to pick their own gender. No really. It’s supposed to combat bullying, because if a little boy wears pigtails and a skirt, the bullying will supposedly stop if he’s allowed to use the girls’ bathroom.

*Insert eye roll here*

Actually, I don’t really care. I don’t have an opinion on raising little Johnny as little Joannie. You don’t tell me how to raise my kids, and I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Just keep ‘em healthy, happy, and reasonably under control in public please.

I think the real issue is going to come into play when Johnny/Joannie is 17 and wants to play basketball on the girls’ team. Boys are naturally better athletes than us women-folk, stuffed bra and close shave aside.

We were also going to talk about Bob Filner, but ran out of time. So I’ll just say he’s an ass. And I voted for Carl DeMaio.

Also I think it’s funny Hooters won’t serve him because he’s too big a boob even for them.

Sometimes the headlines write themselves.

Short and Sweet: Obama vs. Romney on Medicare

Let’s be brief and straightforward on this, shall we? I’m getting a little bit sick of hearing the media whine about Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan wanting to rob Medicare, while praising Barack Obama for saving it even though he guts it of $716 billion.

Here’s the short of it: The Romney/Ryan plan puts citizens back in charge of their own health care, through a voucher system. The money goes from government-mandated spending on particular providers to a choice for the individual to spend that money where he or she wants.

Voucher systems work, because they put individuals back in charge of their own spending.

The Obama plan guts Medicare to pay for … wait for it … Obamacare, which is more government regulation. Because that works so well, you know. It’s not like our spending is out of control, there’s a doctor shortage, an education crisis, and of course the DMV is the epitome of efficiency.

But go ahead and keep complaining about Mitt Romney. I can’t wait to hear how Obama ends up shifting from blaming Bush to blaming Romney for his abysmal failure as a one-term president. I can hear it now … “That racist Mitt Romney stole my second term, when everything was going to be ok and everyone was going to get a puppy!”

Whatever. Go Mitt. Donate here. See you in November.

Eavesdropping on Jenny & Ashley August 22, 2012

Ashley and I chatted about the weather, Amtrak, the California economy (real unemployment in the Golden State is over 20%), Akin and legitimate rape, ‘Oiho,’ Mormons and drinking, and of course nekkid Prince Harry in Vegas.

Listen to internet radio with Top 7 on Blog Talk Radio

Top 7 for the Week of July 20th

This week, Ashley and I talked about:

  1. Holy Massacre at the Movies, Batman
  2. Syria: The United States will act outside the UN to confront Assad
  3. Obama Tells Bob the Builder: You Didn’t Build That
  4. S-E-X
  5. The Olympics: Will Anything Ever Go Right?
  6. Higher Education … Online?
  7. Obama’s War on Jobs Not Good for Fundraising

Plus we have a joke, a rant, and a Dude of the Week. Also, we have a caption contest going on over at Facebook. Go enter now for your chance to win a $25 Chipotle gift card. Winner will be announced during next week’s show.

Happy listening!

Listen to internet radio with Top 7 on Blog Talk Radio

Top 7 for the Week of June 29th

This week, Ashley and I talked about:

  1. Obamacare ObamaTax
  2. Eric Holder: Attorney General Fail
  3. Another Government’Backed Solar Company Bites the Dust
  4. DC Schools Prove Money Doesn’t Fix What’s Broke
  5. NAACP: Poor People Are Too Dumb To Make Their Own Choices
  6. Google Cookies Diss Your Privacy
  7. Food Stamps Are Fun! (And Make You Pretty)

Plus we have a rant, a Dude of the Week, and a dirty joke guaranteed to make you laugh.

Happy listening!

Listen to internet radio with Top 7 on Blog Talk Radio

Verbal Vomit on Supreme Court’s Obamacare Ruling

So the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act was ruled constitutional today, led by Chief Justice John Roberts, who sided with the libs on the bench. I mean, even wishy-washy Kennedy voted to strike down the individual mandate.

I was sleeping in a little this morning, because it’s summer and also because I stayed up too late watching Doctor Who on my ipad last night, when Leif came over and nudged me awake before he set off for work. He was so awesome and sweet and told me I was pretty and that he loved me. Then I realized what day it was. Obamacare Decision Day.

“Oh no! You know, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” He stroked my hair.

“It’s not good, is it?”

“Nope.” He gazed lovingly at me.

“Give it to me straight.”

“Constitutional. Roberts wrote the majority opinion.”

“Whaaaa….?”

“I know. They’re calling it a tax, and therefore Congress has the power to levy it.”

Gah.

So then I did what any chick that works in social media does and took to Twitter to voice my thoughts. Because do opinions matter if they’re not posted on a social networking site? Didn’t think so.

Here are my original tweets, with commentary added in the parentheses:

Ok. Reaction. 1-I feel like throwing up. Apparently it’s Constitutional to tax me for breathing. (It’s possible I was slightly hung over. But I did feel punched in the gut.)

2- WTF, Justice Roberts?? You are no longer my 3rd favorite. (Favorite is Scalia. Second is Thomas. Third is now up for grabs. Probably Alito.)

3- Roberts is a VERY smart man. What’s he playing? (Seriously, Justice Roberts – WTF?)

4- I think I’m going to be sick. (Again, possibly from that last glass of wine last night, but this Obamacare standing thing wasn’t helping.)

5- Well, this pretty much guarantees a President Romney, huh? (Le sigh.)

6- Aaaaaand I’m back to being sick. (Can I vote for Ann instead? I like her better. Sorry, Mitt.)

7- I’m going back to bed. *Pulls covers over her head*

Then I realized I had to get up and write and comment because if I don’t, I don’t get paid, and health care costs are about to skyrocket. And you know, personal responsibility and all that jazz.

So I officially turned in my two cents to The Stir, where I’m sure commenters will call me a racity racist for agreeing with the black man on the bench (Clarence Thomas, Second Favorite). I’m not quite sure how that works, but it seems that whenever the haters disagree with me about something I get called a racist. Get some better insults, people! Racist is so 2009.

Anyway, my friend Matt Cover (say Co-ver, not like the blanket) pointed out, “Roberts DOES NOT say that anything that looks like a tax is ok, only that this provision is a tax, and therefore ok.” Ok … I can see that. I still don’t like it.

I also read this from Erick Erickson (no relation), wherein he makes the case that, “While Roberts has expanded the taxation power, which I don’t really think is a massive expansion from what it was, Roberts has curtailed the commerce clause as an avenue for Congressional overreach. In so doing, he has affirmed the Democrats are massive taxers.”

They are massive taxers. And Obama ran on that whole “no tax increases for the middle class” thing. Not looking good for him this November. Or for other politicians that supported this behemoth of a bill without even reading the frickin’ thing.

Go donate to the Romney campaign. Seriously, use that link, because I get some sort of credit for referring you. Maybe I can win a stuffed seal like I did that time I sold 200 boxes of Girl Scout cookies in third grade!

And watch Ben Howe’s latest video featuring a compilation of Obama clips insisting that this is not a tax.

Top 7 for the Week of June 22

This week, please excuse our technology fail intro, Furbaby barking her opinion, and a mishap or two as Ashley and I talk about:

  1. Dear Liberal Gays: Something About More Flies With Honey
  2. Fast and Furious and Executive Privilege
  3. Vacation Do Over! European Edition
  4. Why’d you kill this man? We wanted free Chinese food.  Duh.
  5. Michelle Wants Barack to Be Our Husband, But She Wanted to Divorce Him
  6. Some People Just Need To Freakin’ Get A Life
  7. The Hawt List

Plus we have a rant, a dirty joke, and Dude of the Week Chris Loesch.

Happy listening!

Listen to internet radio with Top 7 on Blog Talk Radio

Unintended Consequences of Government Regulation

The Tan Tax

I haven’t tanned in years, because well, I just hadn’t thought much about it. I was in motherhood survival mode until last fall, and any precious childless minutes I had were spent working, keeping house, on a date with my husband, or reading Sookie Stackhouse novels. Tanning wasn’t exactly a priority.

Now that summer is fast (fast!) approaching, I decided to find a salon and just go. No judgment, you Judgey McJudgersons! We all have our vices, mmmkay? Anyway, I found a place near my house that looked great, so I checked it out. After meeting the people and touring the place, I decided to give it a go. Then came the forms.

“Do you understand you’re saturating your skin with UV light?”

Yes.

“Do you agree not to sue us if you get skin cancer and die?”

Yes. All bets are off if I burst into flames though.

“Do you agree to pay the 10% tax imposed by the PPACA, effective July 1, 2010?”

Um … I actually have to sign for that?

The girl at the counter entering my information pointed to it and said, “You can thank President Obama for that one.”

“Oh yeah, I know,” I said, “I work in politics, I know all about Obamacare.”

“Well, I don’t know if you are, but I’m not a fan.”

“Not even a little. Go Mitt Romney!”

“Better than Obama!”

“Let me guess, you’re the owner?”

“Yup.”

“Obviously.”

Then I finished the forms and got my tan on in the form of warm artificial light emitted into a space age looking tube while I wore weird goggles and tuned out to some willowy spa music. It was almost relaxing enough to forget about Obamacare, but it really irritated me that he raised taxes on tanning salons consumers who frequent a particular business.

Unintended Consequence of Taxing a Business: They pass along the cost to the consumer in order to make ends meet.

The Spare Tire Scam

I was flipping through AAA’s Westways magazine looking for some local daytrip ideas for the kiddos this summer when an article titled Where’s the Spare caught my eye. The article pointed out that 13% of 2011 model cars came with no spare tire, but with a ‘fix-it’ kit instead.

The kit contains a can of sealant and a small air compressor, and is completely useless in the case of sidewall punctures. If you have a tread puncture, you’ll be able to re-inflate and seal the tire, which will be good to drive on for about 25 miles before screwing you over. So good luck if you blow one in the middle of the desert or something.

Where have the spares gone? Is this a ploy from the car companies to cut costs and make themselves richer? Nope. According to the article:

To meet increasingly stringent government-mandated fuel-economy standards—an average of 34.1 mpg by 2016—automaker engineers sweat over removing mere ounces from vehicles. Losing 40 pounds of tire, wheel, and tools is a godsend toward that effort.

Unintended Consequence of Saving the Planet: Potentially stranding people in the middle of nowhere, where they may or may not have cell service to call for help.

Here’s the Thing

Just because something sounds like a good idea doesn’t mean that it is. Discouraging people to tan indoors might sound like a good idea to the pale ones, but it just hurts small businesses. Saving the environment by requiring cars to run on less gasoline sounds like a good idea to the tree huggers, but it results in the loss of a spare tire. What’s next – thinner metal that can more easily be ripped to shreds in an accident?

Or maybe we should all just sit inside our un-air-conditioned houses, yelling at TV about how everything is George Bush’s fault, leaving only to go buy organic lettuce with our EBT cards or to see the doctor (without ever seeing a bill). We’ll get there in our government-mandated Smart car, because it wouldn’t be fair to ‘smart’ drivers if big gnarly SUVs and trucks were on the road. They might squash them, plus, you know, pollution.

Oy, that sounds awful. Give me my UV tan, my spare tire, my soda, my salt, my AC, my freedom to make my own choices any day of the week.

No one is forcing anyone to give up his or her spare tire for better gas mileage. Oh wait … the government is.

Thing 1 Just Says No to Dog Meat

I was reading this article from Mark Steyn about the exploding attack tactics being used by the Obama campaign against Mitt Romney. They tried to say that women wouldn’t like Romney because his great-grandfather was a polygamist, but somehow overlooked the fact that Barak Obama’s father was a polygamist.

Side note: Why liberals are down with gay marriage but not polygamy confuses the heck out of me. Isn’t that discrimination? Shouldn’t consenting adults be allowed to marry whomever they want to?

Another hypocritical criticism of Romney came when the Obama people decided to cry foul over the fact that the Romney family apparently strapped their crated dog to the roof of the car for a road trip in 1983. Then the fabulous Jim Treacher blogged on the Daily Caller that Obama had, as a child, eaten dog meat.

Better the roof of the car, then the roof of the mouth, Jim astutely pointed out.

The “Obama eats dog” meme has exploded on the Internets, because, well, it’s just so gosh darn hilarious to make fun of it. Dog recipes, anyone? Hall & Oates lyrics changed from Maneater to Dogeater? Brilliant.

Some people (I’m look at you, Leif!) don’t think the thing is funny. There are so many other issues to talk about — this is just stupid. The above linked article from Steyn does a good job laying out exactly why we should be laughing about it: It contrasts the comic value of the situation with the ridiculous seriousness that those on the left take themselves. We laugh; they form a Dogs Against Romney PAC.

He writes:

The exploding cigars are revealing not merely of Democratic hypocrisy but of a key difference in worldview between liberals and conservatives. Jeremy Funk and Governor Schweitzer reflexively believe that their dog-eating polygamy-scion is different from the other guy’s dog-transporting polygamy-scion. This is nothing to do with young Barack being six or ten years old and meekly eating whatever was put in front of him. He was 34 years old when he wrote the passage quoted above and ten years older when he recorded the audio edition. And, as both versions make plain, he thinks it’s kinda cool, and he knows that to the average upscale white liberal it has the electric frisson of the exotic other.

Earlier in the article, Steyn had mentioned dog breeder Kate McMillan, who said the following of the criticism that you can’t blame a child for eating what’s put in front of him:

Try this experiment–sit a normal, American 6 year old down at a plate and tell him it’s dog meat. Watch what happens.

With that inspiration, I grabbed my iphone and recorded this video of my eight-year-old daughter:

After establishing the fact that the girl is a regular carnivore, I asked if she would eat dog meat. She shakes her head and I ask her why that is.

“Because I would think of eating Junie’s* friends … and plus it sounds gross.”

*Furbaby’s real name is June. I guess that cat is out of the bag.

Twitter Fun & Creepiness with #ILikeObamacare & #Gen44

On Friday, I had a lot of fun on Twitter with the #ILikeObamacare hashtag initiated by Team Obama to celebrate the second anniversary of the passage of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare). As predicted, conservatives took over the thread, offering sarcastic reasons for why they liked Obamacare.

Here are some tweets that I sent out, just to give you a feeling for the game:

Because crappy care for all is better than excellent care for ANYONE willing to pay their bills. #ILikeObamacare

Because people w/ weight problems should have their care limited. Just like in Britain. #ILikeObamacare

#ILikeObamacare Because the DMV is AWESOME.

One of my favorite tweets I saw was from my friend Jon Gabriel, who said, #ILikeObamacare because a guy who can’t even protect a Twitter hashtag thread should be great at protecting my health.”

Then I got caught up in life getting ready for Thing 2’s birthday on Saturday, driving Thing 1 to and from a birthday party, and hosting an impromptu dinner party, because hey, why not?

Way too much fun was had at dinner Friday night, so I woke up with a fairly wicked hangover on Saturday morning. Whoops. All of my energy went into making Thing 2’s morning at the farmer’s market special, wrapping presents, and generally showering her with birthday love.

I finally hopped on Twitter yesterday evening to see what was going on, and I noticed a new hashtag flying by: #Gen44. So I asked my followers what the deal was, and they said it was the latest fail from Team Obama. I forced myself over to www.BarackObama.com, where I learned that Gen44 is the under-40 demographic.

So what’s the deal with the 44?

Barack Obama is the 44th President of the United States. I felt slightly nauseated. So I tweeted, “I threw up in my mouth a little upon discovering that Obama has named my generation after himself. #gen44

Seriously, you guys, this is not cool. This dude is so egotistical and out of touch with reality that it’s kinda scary. Obama wants us under-40s to volunteer our time, efforts, and cash to “ensure that President Obama and Democrats have the resources and infrastructure needed to implement the change we believe in.”

A movement shouldn’t be about a leader; it should focus on a cause. How do we know what President Obama really feels or wants for our country? He is always saying one thing and doing another. No one knows where he stands on anything. Why would an entire generation place their faith and trust in one man, and even refer to themselves by his moniker?

What does the president mean when he says we need to ensure that he has the resources needed to bring about change? What kind of change? What happened to compromise, and all that across-the-aisle stuff they’re always touting? Is Obama saying that Gen44 needs to rally together to obliterate the Republicans? That sounds a bit totalitarian, if you ask me.

I am not comfortable handing over resources to one person so that they can ‘change things’ and ‘take care of me.’ I’d rather my president step back, rein in the government from interfering with my life and finances, and trust me to make the best decisions for myself and my family.

I am not Gen44. I am Generation Independent.