Back to Political Commentary? Sure, Why Not?

Months and months ago, when I was going through the emotional throes of holy crap I think my marriage is over and what the eff am I supposed to do about that, a friend said to me, “Can you please make a decision so you can get back to snarky political commentary? In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s quite a bit going on.”

Whatever. The president said they were all phony scandals, so he must be right or I’m a racist. Pfffttt.

Last fall when I was on the Romney campaign, we weren’t really allowed to tweet. Well, we could but we couldn’t. Sometimes except certain times. Only if it was a good tweet, but not too good. Never on Tuesdays or after dark. Unless there was a debate. In other words, the tweeting policy was clear as mud.

Because nothing says Voter Engagement like reclusiveness.

I finally gave up trying after I was chastised for tweeting, “Lady smarts > lady parts.” Yes, I cried, because I’m a TOTAL PROFESSIONAL. Seriously though, if I couldn’t win with that tweet, then the whole thing just seemed hopeless. I should’ve known right then that we were going to lose.

Anyway, I was talking to Justin, one of my favorite friends in the Boston trenches with me about it, and said that once the campaign was over I wanted to go back to commentary. “I think my first tweet after the campaign shall be, ‘I’m back, bitches.’”

Then he blushed because he’s LDS and doesn’t say the B-word.

Er, um … neither do I. Except sometimes.

Obviously, my cussing policy is very similar to the Romney tweeting policy, which can basically be summed up as: Don’t get caught by the wrong people. Sorry if you’re reading this, Dad.

Of course, it’s been nine months since the campaign ended (nine months!!!), which is not only the correct amount of time to grow a human, but also apparently just about right for getting over a spectacular political loss. Not to mention a bunch of personal crap.

Since then I’ve been plodding along, keeping up with some news, doing some behind-the-scenes freelance writing for some candidates, and doing other very important things like learning how to curl my hair. Yes, I was 30 before I learned how to properly work a curling iron. Stop judging me. Judgey people are only allowed to visit between 2-4 pm on the sixth of never.

Anyway.

A couple of weeks ago I got a message from the lovely Christine, who knew me from being on with Chip and LaDonna once upon a time for the whole Victoria’s Secret hullabaloo. She’s now producing for Rick Amato’s new Internet TV show, and would I like to come on?

Rick and I go way back, like three years or longer! I’ve been on his radio show a handful of times, and we’ve spoken at some of the same Tea Party events.

Would I like to do a media appearance to comment on some current events from a conservative mommy blogger’s perspective? Um, yes.

All that to say … I’m back, bitches.

(Sorry Dad.)

So I was on a panel yesterday, Token Female Style, to discuss expatriates and gender-bender issues. I’ll post a clip when they get it archived.

Thoughts on Record Expatriatism

There’s this new law that’s killing Swiss bank accounts, because the U.S. is now demanding that all financial institutions report on American citizens’ bank activity — anywhere in the world. You know, so they can be sure to squeeze every last drop of blood out of people’s wallets in the name of taxes.

So people living and working abroad are denouncing their American citizenship in record numbers. The tax rate is capped in Hong Kong at 15 percent.

And liberals scratch their heads at this phenomenon, because paying taxes is supposed to be patriotic.

Meanwhile in California

Jerry Brown signed a law that says all students in public school grade K-12 get to pick their own gender. No really. It’s supposed to combat bullying, because if a little boy wears pigtails and a skirt, the bullying will supposedly stop if he’s allowed to use the girls’ bathroom.

*Insert eye roll here*

Actually, I don’t really care. I don’t have an opinion on raising little Johnny as little Joannie. You don’t tell me how to raise my kids, and I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Just keep ‘em healthy, happy, and reasonably under control in public please.

I think the real issue is going to come into play when Johnny/Joannie is 17 and wants to play basketball on the girls’ team. Boys are naturally better athletes than us women-folk, stuffed bra and close shave aside.

We were also going to talk about Bob Filner, but ran out of time. So I’ll just say he’s an ass. And I voted for Carl DeMaio.

Also I think it’s funny Hooters won’t serve him because he’s too big a boob even for them.

Sometimes the headlines write themselves.

Good Morning America & Nail Polish & Tutus (The Important Things)

Oh my, what a crazy couple of days! In case you missed it, the Good Morning America spot aired yesterday. Then an article went up in the Daily Mail. Why yes, it is surreal to see your own face on websites that you check daily for news, why do you ask?

For my eight readers that are asking, I will have the opportunity to do more media on this to expand and clarify my position. I can’t say when or where or what yet, but I’ll keep y’all posted.

It does crack me up that I’m getting so much attention for talking about underwear. I’ve been blogging about news and politics for over four years now, having probably at least touched upon every topic there is to touch upon, and I’ve even worked on a presidential campaign as a senior copywriter. But panties?? LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT!

In all seriousness, I do believe it’s a topic worth addressing, and I’m looking forward to doing so in the near future.

For now, please enjoy this picture of Furbaby, back from the doggie spa. Yes, her nails are pink. She tried to lick the polish off. Is it wrong that I laughed at her? Then I don’t want to be right.

 Furbaby Pink Nails

And this one of Thing 2 dressed up as Thing 2 for Dr. Seuss Day last week in her kindergarten prep class. Because if you’re going to dress up, always find a way to incorporate a tutu. And pom poms.

Thing 2 Dr Seuss

Seriously — I die of cuteness on a daily basis.

GMA Is In the House

Thing 1 and Abbie chatting about fashion

Thing 1 and Abbie chatting about fashion

Aggh!!! TV camera on me right now! I’m totally going to have to blog about this. Hmmm … maybe I’ll turn this into a blog post. Yes, That’s what I’ll do.

Remember when I told you Good Morning America was coming over? You know, just a typical Monday for this girl. You see … I wrote this thing about Victoria’s Secret on The Stir … and people liked it. Of course I’m sure some people didn’t, but you can’t please everyone.

So the film crew is here, and I’m supposed to be looking like I’m actually, you know, writing something, so I thought, why not write a blog post about them being here?

Jeff and Becky are the camera peeps, and they are super duper nice. Plus they like my kids — and anyone that likes my kids can stay. The reporter and producer are on the way, but they had to stop at the mall first, because they wanted an Orange Julius.

Haha! Just kidding. They went for shots of VS. I’m guessing. You know, because this story is on VS. I’m bright like that.

Leif got called away for some urgent something rather-or-other, so my saintly mama dropped everything and came over to help. She. Is. Awesome. Seriously, thank you Mom!

 

~~~ Approximately five hours later ~~~

Wowza that was a lot of filming! Had so much fun though. The girls were awesome. I think my favorite line was when ABC correspondent Abbie Boudreau asked Thing 1 whom she looked to for fashion advice … like what movie star?

My sweet girl said that she looked to her mom and gramma for fashion advice. Abbie asked her what kind of advice she got from Gramma, and she replied, “Not to wear socks with sandals.”

Amen, Sistah.

Abbie and her producer Derrick were so fun to work with, and I hope I get to do so again some time. Plus — like Jeff and Becky, they seemed to adore my kids. Seriously people, if you want to get on my good side, tell me how awesome my kids are. I greatly enjoy people that can recognize the truth right in front of them. *wink*

 

~~~ Approximately one day later ~~~

Soooooo … I totally didn’t post this last night. I know there was more I wanted to add, but at this point, I think I’ll post as-is and save more tell-all until after the segment airs.

Tune into Good Morning America on Thursday, y’all! The segment is scheduled to air in the 8-9 o’clock hour.

Good Morning America Emailed Me & Asked Me to Come Talk About Underwear — No Joke!

*Tap tap tap*

Is this thing on? I know it’s been awhile — a long while. Like I said in my last post OVER A MONTH AGO, I haven’t had much to say. I’ve been staying in touch with my bff the Internet on Facebook and Twitter, and of course writing very in-depth stories about celebrity pregnancies and babies over at The Stir.

Hey, it’s a living and I’m a capitalist. Besides, I also get to write about things that actually interest me, like how I don’t think kids should be used for political gain, a sweet couple that’s been married 80 years, and how the Canadian Parliament is preparing for the zombie apocalypse.

One of the things I wrote this week was about Victoria’s Secret and how they seem to be targeting teens. Appropriate? Inappropriate? My take on it was essentially — so? What’s your point?

I mean really. I’ve been wearing a bra since I was 11, and filling one out since I was 14. Where do you think they came from? Thing 1 is nine, so bra-shopping time will be here in the next two blinks, if I’m calculating her childhood correctly. A trip to Vickie’s will be in order.

Anyway, I had fun writing it, especially because I love writing things that show that not all of us Republicans are stuffy old prudes. I love fun and life and my kids and even pretty underthings. I want my girls to feel good about themselves, and if that means pretty panties and bras from a classy Big Girl store — then so be it.

Fast forward to this afternoon when I got an email with “ABC NEWS” in the subject line. I clicked it because it was Sunday afternoon and email is slow and I was bored-ish, so why not? Figured it was spam. Then I read it four times.

It was freaking Good Morning America. Well, a producer from GMA. She liked my article about teen lingerie, thought I had a reasoned approach, and would I mind giving her a call?

Um, ok. I still kinda thought it was someone pulling a prank or something. It wasn’t.

So here’s the plan — GMA is supposed to send a film crew to my house tomorrow afternoon to tape a segment that should air this week. Of course, the whole thing could be canceled, or they could cut it, or a million other things and I probably shouldn’t be telling you all this until it’s in the can, but dang it feels good to write something on here, and besides, if the whole thing falls through, at least I’ll have had something actually interesting to tell you. So … yeah.

Also, my friends know me well … “Good MORNING America…? Um, what time is this all taking place?” When I tell them they’re prerecording in the afternoon, the respond with some variation of, “Phew! Because you’re totally not a morning person.”

It’s true. I’m not.

See y’all on a major broadcasting network.

*Happy Dance*

My HLN Panel at the Republican National Convention

I got to go on zee teevee last week. On a cable news network. THE Cable News Network. Well … kinda. I was on the Headline News channel, otherwise known as HLN, previously known as CNN2.

Funny side note: I didn’t know that HLN stood for Headline News until someone said they saw me on Headline News. I said, “Aww, thanks! But it was Evening Express on HLN that I was on.” And then the very kind friend gently asked me what HLN stood for. Sometimes, my blond roots show, mmmkay?

Anyway. I got to go on a real live television show, and I don’t know how many people watched it live, aside from Ashley and me, but I know at least a dozen of my friends have watched it on the internets. Because I have at least a dozen friends that are awesome enough to sit down and watch me chat about partisan politics with Tennessee Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn, Republican delegate and Mormon BYU biology professor Laura Bridgewater, CafeMom.com host Lindsay Ferrier, and HLN’s Kyra Phillips.

Because that totally happened.

Impressions

Kyra surprised me the most. She’s spent over a decade with CNN, and through the magic of Google, I found out that she sometimes goes after social issues. I was expecting her to tolerate us Republican chicks at best, but I had my talking points reay and my smile in place.

When I met her, I pleasantly surprised to find a warm, laidback host that seemed to genuinely want to have a real discussion about the Romney’s and the election. Once the cameras were rolling, I was still half expecting a couple of ‘gotcha’ questions – most likely over gay marriage or abortion.

Nope! The discussion centered around the economy, which most Americans agree is the number one issue right now. I could see Kyra’s brain trying to wrap itself around some of our answers when asked why we women (moms!) support Mitt Romney. I love when people keep an open mind to other people’s convictions, so add another point to the I Like Kyra column.

Lindsay was great too. I’ve been working with her on Moms Matter 2012 over at CafeMom.com since the end of last year, and she’s a total pro. It was fabulous to finally meet her in person.

Representative Blackburn was also a delight. She didn’t know it, but she was a huge inspiration to me after I heard her speak at Smart Girl Summit in 2009. That was my first political convention as a blogger, and I loved what she had to say about how much moms can rock the world. Plus she thanked me for doing what I do out there on the internet on a daily basis. That was awesome.

I’d never met Laura before, but I was glad to get to know her. She spoke of faith and family, and how Mitt Romney has shown a commitment to both, and how that will be translated into a commitment to get our economy back on track.

Overall, it was super fun, I’d do it again in a heartbeat, and I’m soooooo glad that we got to talk about real issues, rather than that tool Todd Akin.

 

Here’s the condensed version played by HLN:

 

And the full version from CafeMom.com:

Short and Sweet: Obama vs. Romney on Medicare

Let’s be brief and straightforward on this, shall we? I’m getting a little bit sick of hearing the media whine about Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan wanting to rob Medicare, while praising Barack Obama for saving it even though he guts it of $716 billion.

Here’s the short of it: The Romney/Ryan plan puts citizens back in charge of their own health care, through a voucher system. The money goes from government-mandated spending on particular providers to a choice for the individual to spend that money where he or she wants.

Voucher systems work, because they put individuals back in charge of their own spending.

The Obama plan guts Medicare to pay for … wait for it … Obamacare, which is more government regulation. Because that works so well, you know. It’s not like our spending is out of control, there’s a doctor shortage, an education crisis, and of course the DMV is the epitome of efficiency.

But go ahead and keep complaining about Mitt Romney. I can’t wait to hear how Obama ends up shifting from blaming Bush to blaming Romney for his abysmal failure as a one-term president. I can hear it now … “That racist Mitt Romney stole my second term, when everything was going to be ok and everyone was going to get a puppy!”

Whatever. Go Mitt. Donate here. See you in November.

Kate Upton Is Not a Fatty, You Skinny Freaks

Until about 40 minutes ago, I had no clue who Kate Upton was. Her name sounded vaguely familiar … didn’t she marry a prince last year? That was Kate Middleton? So my pop culture references suck sometimes, ok? At least I know that the U.S. military doesn’t typically carry AK-47s, which is more than I can say for the president.

But I digress.

So this morning I woke up way too early after going to sleep way too late (in other words, it’s a day ending in Y), and grabbed my iPhone, because after 4-5 hours of sleep, I was in information withdrawal.

No texts, boring emails, time for Twitter! What’s up, world? People are still mad at Chick-Fil-A, which is both lame and stupid. I wrote my opinion on it here, by the way. What else? Obama made another blunder about the armed forces (see link above about AK-47s) … the Democratic-led Senate raised taxes on small businesses (no wonder the economy still sucks) …

Then Dina Fraioli tweeted:

Who is this Kate Upton fatty? *click* Chica is a Sports Illustrated swim suit model. And girl is gorgeous. Seriously. Beautiful. Not fat. Not even a little. Wait, did Dina say PRO-ANOREXIA website?

So I threw up in my mouth a little, which I’m sure the anorexics would sneer at because everyone knows that bulimics are just anorexic wannabes. Then I got up and ate breakfast, because I need to maintain my “thick” and “vulgar” frame, not to mention my “big fat floppy boobs.” Because man oh man, if those skinny freaks think Kate Upton is fat, I’d hate to hear what they think of me.

Now I’m off to tell my daughters they are gorgeous (inside and out!), because I don’t think that’s something any girl can ever get enough of.

Top 7 for the Week of July 20th

This week, Ashley and I talked about:

  1. Holy Massacre at the Movies, Batman
  2. Syria: The United States will act outside the UN to confront Assad
  3. Obama Tells Bob the Builder: You Didn’t Build That
  4. S-E-X
  5. The Olympics: Will Anything Ever Go Right?
  6. Higher Education … Online?
  7. Obama’s War on Jobs Not Good for Fundraising

Plus we have a joke, a rant, and a Dude of the Week. Also, we have a caption contest going on over at Facebook. Go enter now for your chance to win a $25 Chipotle gift card. Winner will be announced during next week’s show.

Happy listening!

Listen to internet radio with Top 7 on Blog Talk Radio

Susan the Liberal Lesbian

Meet Susan. She was at the Personal Democracy Forum (PDF) that I attended in New York City last week. I spied her out of the corner of my eye, glancing surreptitiously at my laptop as she paced back and forth a few times in front of me.

Let me note at this point that my laptop is decorated with a bumper sticker from the Media Research Center that boldly claims, “I don’t believe the liberal media.” Let me also note that PDF was attended largely by liberals. Since I’m noting things, let me also say that I got a lot of interesting looks, and a few conversations, for my computer decals.

With the gorgeous Ashley Sewell and the referenced laptop

Back to Susan, because my conversation with her was by far the best one I had over my bumper sticker. She finally made her way over to me, and very politely asked, “Excuse me if I’m being rude, but I can’t help but notice the sticker on your computer … Can I ask how you’d feel if I had a sticker on my computer that said, “I don’t believe the conservative media?”

I almost snickered and said, “What conservative media,” but I held my tongue. Instead, I told her I’d be fine with it. When she didn’t respond immediately, I continued, “I don’t think anyone should believe only one source of information.”

“What do you mean?” She asked, appearing genuinely dumbfounded.

“I think when you hear something, you should keep from forming an opinion on it until you have all the information. Just because someone says something doesn’t make it true, and you’re doing an injustice to the story and the people involved if you don’t try to gather as much information as possible before taking a stance on it. There’s always more than one side of the story.”

(I probably added that last bit in there because I’d seen Wicked the night before. Spectacular, by the way.)

“Wow,” Susan said, “That’s exactly how I feel.”

Doubt it. But whatever.

We chatted for a bit, and she told me that I was unlike most of her Republican friends. She said, I kid you not, “I have many friends that are Christians that think if you’re not a bible-thumping, gun-toting, straight person, you should be shot.”

My reaction was immediate and exclamatory, “Oh that’s horrible!”

“They have other qualities that I love dearly,” she rationalized.

“Well I’m a Bible-thumping, 2nd amendment supporting, conservative wife and mom, and I love my gay friends, and wouldn’t begin to question their sexual preferences.”

“I’m your typical middle-aged liberal lesbian in grad school…”

Now I can’t imagine having dear friends that I love that hated some of my life choices so much that they wanted to kill me, but to each their own. Or maybe those dear friends she’d mentioned previously were only composite friends, you know, kinda like Barack Obama’s college girlfriend.

It never ceases to amaze me how liberals view conservatives, and how they make crap up to defend their preconceived notions as to how we think. Susan, you seem like a lovely person, and I thank you for your curiosity and willingness to chat with me. Take another look at the Republican Party. We’re not the racist homophobes you think we are.

The Time I Met Matthew Broderick

I’m in New York City for the first time in my entire life, and I’m loving it. I was trying to describe it to Leif over the phone, and it pretty much came out in one big breath, “Ohmygosh I love it! There’s so much to see and do and there are so many interesting people to watch, and there are smells of food and flowers, and everything buzzes with noise and life and you’d absolutely hate it.”

It’s true. He really would. He doesn’t like crowds and he’s allergic to flowers. Sometimes opposites attract, ok?

Anyway. I’m in the city sans Leif for the Personal Democracy Forum, which is a conference about technology in politics. Totally up my alley. But this post is not about technology or politics, or even my husband’s environmental tastes and preferences, it’s about Matthew Broderick and the most uncomfortable celebrity photo in the history of cameras.

I was walking through the theater district with my friend Justin Hart, looking for someplace to eat, when he slowed down and hissed, “Look!” There was a couple taking a photo, but I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

Jenny, look!” Ok, fine, I gave a second glance, because Justin was really very much way too excited about these people posing for pictures.

Oh, hello. That’s Ferris Bueller. Except way older. It happens to the best of us Matthew, don’t sweat it. He also didn’t look like he was too pleased to be taking the picture with the pretty girl posing with him, so I was content to just pass him by.

“Hi Matthew! What’s happening? Would you mind stopping for one more picture with my friend Jenny?” I know Justin might deny this, but I swear he shoved me into Mr. Broderick’s personal space as he pulled his camera out.

“Uh, hi …” What was I supposed to say? I’m sorry my friend made you do this, and don’t worry because I will probably punch him in the neck later for making my face turn the same color as my very red dress?

Then to make matters worse, my celebrity photo mate made his displeasure known by rolling his eyes and saying, “Fine. It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

I look like I want to cry. Or murder Justin. One or the other.

“Oh come on, she’s a pretty girl, posing for a picture with her can’t be that bad!” Yup. ‘Physically harm Justin’ was rapidly moving to the top of my to-do list. Because he totally said that. To the man married to Sarah Jessica Parker.

Le sigh.

At least I got this picture out of it, which I have fondly titled, In Which Matthew Broderick and I Are Incredibly Annoyed at Justin Hart.