Until about 40 minutes ago, I had no clue who Kate Upton was. Her name sounded vaguely familiar … didn’t she marry a prince last year? That was Kate Middleton? So my pop culture references suck sometimes, ok? At least I know that the U.S. military doesn’t typically carry AK-47s, which is more than I can say for the president.
But I digress.
So this morning I woke up way too early after going to sleep way too late (in other words, it’s a day ending in Y), and grabbed my iPhone, because after 4-5 hours of sleep, I was in information withdrawal.
No texts, boring emails, time for Twitter! What’s up, world? People are still mad at Chick-Fil-A, which is both lame and stupid. I wrote my opinion on it here, by the way. What else? Obama made another blunder about the armed forces (see link above about AK-47s) … the Democratic-led Senate raised taxes on small businesses (no wonder the economy still sucks) …
Then Dina Fraioli tweeted:
Who is this Kate Upton fatty? *click* Chica is a Sports Illustrated swim suit model. And girl is gorgeous. Seriously. Beautiful. Not fat. Not even a little. Wait, did Dina say PRO-ANOREXIA website?
So I threw up in my mouth a little, which I’m sure the anorexics would sneer at because everyone knows that bulimics are just anorexic wannabes. Then I got up and ate breakfast, because I need to maintain my “thick” and “vulgar” frame, not to mention my “big fat floppy boobs.” Because man oh man, if those skinny freaks think Kate Upton is fat, I’d hate to hear what they think of me.
Now I’m off to tell my daughters they are gorgeous (inside and out!), because I don’t think that’s something any girl can ever get enough of.