Back to Political Commentary? Sure, Why Not?

Months and months ago, when I was going through the emotional throes of holy crap I think my marriage is over and what the eff am I supposed to do about that, a friend said to me, “Can you please make a decision so you can get back to snarky political commentary? In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s quite a bit going on.”

Whatever. The president said they were all phony scandals, so he must be right or I’m a racist. Pfffttt.

Last fall when I was on the Romney campaign, we weren’t really allowed to tweet. Well, we could but we couldn’t. Sometimes except certain times. Only if it was a good tweet, but not too good. Never on Tuesdays or after dark. Unless there was a debate. In other words, the tweeting policy was clear as mud.

Because nothing says Voter Engagement like reclusiveness.

I finally gave up trying after I was chastised for tweeting, “Lady smarts > lady parts.” Yes, I cried, because I’m a TOTAL PROFESSIONAL. Seriously though, if I couldn’t win with that tweet, then the whole thing just seemed hopeless. I should’ve known right then that we were going to lose.

Anyway, I was talking to Justin, one of my favorite friends in the Boston trenches with me about it, and said that once the campaign was over I wanted to go back to commentary. “I think my first tweet after the campaign shall be, ‘I’m back, bitches.’”

Then he blushed because he’s LDS and doesn’t say the B-word.

Er, um … neither do I. Except sometimes.

Obviously, my cussing policy is very similar to the Romney tweeting policy, which can basically be summed up as: Don’t get caught by the wrong people. Sorry if you’re reading this, Dad.

Of course, it’s been nine months since the campaign ended (nine months!!!), which is not only the correct amount of time to grow a human, but also apparently just about right for getting over a spectacular political loss. Not to mention a bunch of personal crap.

Since then I’ve been plodding along, keeping up with some news, doing some behind-the-scenes freelance writing for some candidates, and doing other very important things like learning how to curl my hair. Yes, I was 30 before I learned how to properly work a curling iron. Stop judging me. Judgey people are only allowed to visit between 2-4 pm on the sixth of never.

Anyway.

A couple of weeks ago I got a message from the lovely Christine, who knew me from being on with Chip and LaDonna once upon a time for the whole Victoria’s Secret hullabaloo. She’s now producing for Rick Amato’s new Internet TV show, and would I like to come on?

Rick and I go way back, like three years or longer! I’ve been on his radio show a handful of times, and we’ve spoken at some of the same Tea Party events.

Would I like to do a media appearance to comment on some current events from a conservative mommy blogger’s perspective? Um, yes.

All that to say … I’m back, bitches.

(Sorry Dad.)

So I was on a panel yesterday, Token Female Style, to discuss expatriates and gender-bender issues. I’ll post a clip when they get it archived.

Thoughts on Record Expatriatism

There’s this new law that’s killing Swiss bank accounts, because the U.S. is now demanding that all financial institutions report on American citizens’ bank activity — anywhere in the world. You know, so they can be sure to squeeze every last drop of blood out of people’s wallets in the name of taxes.

So people living and working abroad are denouncing their American citizenship in record numbers. The tax rate is capped in Hong Kong at 15 percent.

And liberals scratch their heads at this phenomenon, because paying taxes is supposed to be patriotic.

Meanwhile in California

Jerry Brown signed a law that says all students in public school grade K-12 get to pick their own gender. No really. It’s supposed to combat bullying, because if a little boy wears pigtails and a skirt, the bullying will supposedly stop if he’s allowed to use the girls’ bathroom.

*Insert eye roll here*

Actually, I don’t really care. I don’t have an opinion on raising little Johnny as little Joannie. You don’t tell me how to raise my kids, and I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Just keep ‘em healthy, happy, and reasonably under control in public please.

I think the real issue is going to come into play when Johnny/Joannie is 17 and wants to play basketball on the girls’ team. Boys are naturally better athletes than us women-folk, stuffed bra and close shave aside.

We were also going to talk about Bob Filner, but ran out of time. So I’ll just say he’s an ass. And I voted for Carl DeMaio.

Also I think it’s funny Hooters won’t serve him because he’s too big a boob even for them.

Sometimes the headlines write themselves.

Home From Boston

I’ve been home two days. It’s weird and dazy and strange and hard to believe that less than two week ago, my biggest worry was trying to figure out if I could make a bicoastal commute somehow work within the confines of my family.

Mitt was headed to the White House, yo. And I was going to be part of it.

There are a million reasons I could ponder on as to why we lost. Actually, there’s only one – we didn’t get enough votes. I know! By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.

Now I could contemplate how we could be so wrong about our numbers and voter turnout, mention Obama’s superb ground game, or wonder why my generation seems more concerned with government-sponsored birth control than borrowing from our Children’s piggy banks, but that would be boring.

Instead I’ll just cliché it up: Nice guys finish last.

I don’t feel like the end of the world is here because Obama got reelected. I just feel like it’s going to be on hold for four more years. At best.

Oh, and I got a letter in the mail saying that my doctor no longer accepts my medical insurance. And my premiums went up about 30% last year. But Big Bird and binders!

Seriously guys, how did we lose this?

Double whammy for having worked for Romney: 1) He lost, and I’m out of a job, and 2) He lost, so companies aren’t hiring because they can’t afford to pay for everyone’s birth control and sex change operations.

I wasn’t there when my kids heard about Mommy’s Governor Romney’s loss, but I’m told that they said, “We may be poorer, but at least we have Jesus and our family.”

Love those goobers.

Meanwhile, I wrote about the 5 Stages of Election Loss Grief over at The Stir. I think I’m somewhere between incredulous and annoyed at the moment.

No One Will Vote for Mitt, But He’s Going to Win Anyway.

Yes, I voted for him.

Ashley visited me in Boston last week, and even though I had to work most of the time, I had a great time with her in between the work and the sleep. On Saturday, she stopped by the office to see where we work our hineys off to elect Mitt Romney as the next president.

Because she was a guest, I had to check her in at the security desk, and while we were there we saw two older ladies waiting to get checked in to volunteer for the campaign. They were sweet, and very talkative in obvious long island accents.

We got to chatting with them, and this is what one of them had to say …

“I’ve been a registered Democrat for over 40 years. I voted for Barack Obama in 2008, and I regret it and you have my deepest apologies. I’m an independent now, and I will work as hard as I can to elect Mitt Romney.”

I’ve been hearing these kind of stories from people, and I always want to know why.

“Because he’s failed to lead. I’m paying more for gas. I’m paying more at the grocery store. People are still unemployed. This is a recovery? Ha! Some recovery.”

I mentioned that we’re optimistic for the outcome of the election.

“Oh, we’re going to win, and I’ll tell you why … the first time I said out loud that I supported Mitt Romney, I got called a racist bigot. Can you believe that? That sealed the deal for me — those people are trying to win votes by fear mongering. And I’m telling you, there are people that will not admit they are voting for Romney because they’re a afraid of being called racists. But no one knows whom you vote for in the voting booth. They’re going to vote for Romney, even if they won’t admit it to the pollsters.”

The chick has a point. And many, many thanks to her and everyone else working hard to get out the vote.

Let’s win this thing tomorrow.

My HLN Panel at the Republican National Convention

I got to go on zee teevee last week. On a cable news network. THE Cable News Network. Well … kinda. I was on the Headline News channel, otherwise known as HLN, previously known as CNN2.

Funny side note: I didn’t know that HLN stood for Headline News until someone said they saw me on Headline News. I said, “Aww, thanks! But it was Evening Express on HLN that I was on.” And then the very kind friend gently asked me what HLN stood for. Sometimes, my blond roots show, mmmkay?

Anyway. I got to go on a real live television show, and I don’t know how many people watched it live, aside from Ashley and me, but I know at least a dozen of my friends have watched it on the internets. Because I have at least a dozen friends that are awesome enough to sit down and watch me chat about partisan politics with Tennessee Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn, Republican delegate and Mormon BYU biology professor Laura Bridgewater, CafeMom.com host Lindsay Ferrier, and HLN’s Kyra Phillips.

Because that totally happened.

Impressions

Kyra surprised me the most. She’s spent over a decade with CNN, and through the magic of Google, I found out that she sometimes goes after social issues. I was expecting her to tolerate us Republican chicks at best, but I had my talking points reay and my smile in place.

When I met her, I pleasantly surprised to find a warm, laidback host that seemed to genuinely want to have a real discussion about the Romney’s and the election. Once the cameras were rolling, I was still half expecting a couple of ‘gotcha’ questions – most likely over gay marriage or abortion.

Nope! The discussion centered around the economy, which most Americans agree is the number one issue right now. I could see Kyra’s brain trying to wrap itself around some of our answers when asked why we women (moms!) support Mitt Romney. I love when people keep an open mind to other people’s convictions, so add another point to the I Like Kyra column.

Lindsay was great too. I’ve been working with her on Moms Matter 2012 over at CafeMom.com since the end of last year, and she’s a total pro. It was fabulous to finally meet her in person.

Representative Blackburn was also a delight. She didn’t know it, but she was a huge inspiration to me after I heard her speak at Smart Girl Summit in 2009. That was my first political convention as a blogger, and I loved what she had to say about how much moms can rock the world. Plus she thanked me for doing what I do out there on the internet on a daily basis. That was awesome.

I’d never met Laura before, but I was glad to get to know her. She spoke of faith and family, and how Mitt Romney has shown a commitment to both, and how that will be translated into a commitment to get our economy back on track.

Overall, it was super fun, I’d do it again in a heartbeat, and I’m soooooo glad that we got to talk about real issues, rather than that tool Todd Akin.

 

Here’s the condensed version played by HLN:

 

And the full version from CafeMom.com:

Short and Sweet: Obama vs. Romney on Medicare

Let’s be brief and straightforward on this, shall we? I’m getting a little bit sick of hearing the media whine about Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan wanting to rob Medicare, while praising Barack Obama for saving it even though he guts it of $716 billion.

Here’s the short of it: The Romney/Ryan plan puts citizens back in charge of their own health care, through a voucher system. The money goes from government-mandated spending on particular providers to a choice for the individual to spend that money where he or she wants.

Voucher systems work, because they put individuals back in charge of their own spending.

The Obama plan guts Medicare to pay for … wait for it … Obamacare, which is more government regulation. Because that works so well, you know. It’s not like our spending is out of control, there’s a doctor shortage, an education crisis, and of course the DMV is the epitome of efficiency.

But go ahead and keep complaining about Mitt Romney. I can’t wait to hear how Obama ends up shifting from blaming Bush to blaming Romney for his abysmal failure as a one-term president. I can hear it now … “That racist Mitt Romney stole my second term, when everything was going to be ok and everyone was going to get a puppy!”

Whatever. Go Mitt. Donate here. See you in November.

Top 7 For the Week of August 10th

This week, Ashley and I talked about:

  1. Why Chicks Shouldn’t Be NFL Officials #WarOnWomyn
  2. Gas Prices: The Story Dedicated to All the Moms at the Beach
  3. Elton John Bitch Slaps Madonna … Only Figuratively, Which Is Too Bad
  4. Romney Killed Someone’s Wife … and Probably Puppies Too
  5. Mary Gonzales: W. T. F!
  6. Smuggy Fareed Zakaria Gets Suspended for Plagiarism
  7. Wait for it….Screw Chick-fil-A, Let’s Boycott Papa John’s Next!

Plus we have a rant, a dirty joke, and a Dude of the Week. And we have a special announcement about a new project starting Monday.

Happy listening!

Listen to internet radio with Top 7 on Blog Talk Radio

Top 7 for the Week of July 13th

This week, Ashley and I talked about:

  1. V.P. Speculation: The Political Junkie’s Christmas in July
  2. Jesse Jackson Jr. Being Treated for Mood Disorder
  3. Speaking of Clinical Depression and a Drinking Problem, Let’s Talk About American Idol
  4. Forbes’ Porn Beat … Because That’s a Thing
  5. Western Nevada Academia Makes The Case For Trade School
  6. The Democratic Playbook and the Abortion Debate
  7. The Olympics Are Almost Here! (And It’s a Mess.)

Plus we have a dirty joke, a rant, and a Dude of the Week.

Happy listening!

Listen to internet radio with Top 7 on Blog Talk Radio

Verbal Vomit on Supreme Court’s Obamacare Ruling

So the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act was ruled constitutional today, led by Chief Justice John Roberts, who sided with the libs on the bench. I mean, even wishy-washy Kennedy voted to strike down the individual mandate.

I was sleeping in a little this morning, because it’s summer and also because I stayed up too late watching Doctor Who on my ipad last night, when Leif came over and nudged me awake before he set off for work. He was so awesome and sweet and told me I was pretty and that he loved me. Then I realized what day it was. Obamacare Decision Day.

“Oh no! You know, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” He stroked my hair.

“It’s not good, is it?”

“Nope.” He gazed lovingly at me.

“Give it to me straight.”

“Constitutional. Roberts wrote the majority opinion.”

“Whaaaa….?”

“I know. They’re calling it a tax, and therefore Congress has the power to levy it.”

Gah.

So then I did what any chick that works in social media does and took to Twitter to voice my thoughts. Because do opinions matter if they’re not posted on a social networking site? Didn’t think so.

Here are my original tweets, with commentary added in the parentheses:

Ok. Reaction. 1-I feel like throwing up. Apparently it’s Constitutional to tax me for breathing. (It’s possible I was slightly hung over. But I did feel punched in the gut.)

2- WTF, Justice Roberts?? You are no longer my 3rd favorite. (Favorite is Scalia. Second is Thomas. Third is now up for grabs. Probably Alito.)

3- Roberts is a VERY smart man. What’s he playing? (Seriously, Justice Roberts – WTF?)

4- I think I’m going to be sick. (Again, possibly from that last glass of wine last night, but this Obamacare standing thing wasn’t helping.)

5- Well, this pretty much guarantees a President Romney, huh? (Le sigh.)

6- Aaaaaand I’m back to being sick. (Can I vote for Ann instead? I like her better. Sorry, Mitt.)

7- I’m going back to bed. *Pulls covers over her head*

Then I realized I had to get up and write and comment because if I don’t, I don’t get paid, and health care costs are about to skyrocket. And you know, personal responsibility and all that jazz.

So I officially turned in my two cents to The Stir, where I’m sure commenters will call me a racity racist for agreeing with the black man on the bench (Clarence Thomas, Second Favorite). I’m not quite sure how that works, but it seems that whenever the haters disagree with me about something I get called a racist. Get some better insults, people! Racist is so 2009.

Anyway, my friend Matt Cover (say Co-ver, not like the blanket) pointed out, “Roberts DOES NOT say that anything that looks like a tax is ok, only that this provision is a tax, and therefore ok.” Ok … I can see that. I still don’t like it.

I also read this from Erick Erickson (no relation), wherein he makes the case that, “While Roberts has expanded the taxation power, which I don’t really think is a massive expansion from what it was, Roberts has curtailed the commerce clause as an avenue for Congressional overreach. In so doing, he has affirmed the Democrats are massive taxers.”

They are massive taxers. And Obama ran on that whole “no tax increases for the middle class” thing. Not looking good for him this November. Or for other politicians that supported this behemoth of a bill without even reading the frickin’ thing.

Go donate to the Romney campaign. Seriously, use that link, because I get some sort of credit for referring you. Maybe I can win a stuffed seal like I did that time I sold 200 boxes of Girl Scout cookies in third grade!

And watch Ben Howe’s latest video featuring a compilation of Obama clips insisting that this is not a tax.

Thing 1 Just Says No to Dog Meat

I was reading this article from Mark Steyn about the exploding attack tactics being used by the Obama campaign against Mitt Romney. They tried to say that women wouldn’t like Romney because his great-grandfather was a polygamist, but somehow overlooked the fact that Barak Obama’s father was a polygamist.

Side note: Why liberals are down with gay marriage but not polygamy confuses the heck out of me. Isn’t that discrimination? Shouldn’t consenting adults be allowed to marry whomever they want to?

Another hypocritical criticism of Romney came when the Obama people decided to cry foul over the fact that the Romney family apparently strapped their crated dog to the roof of the car for a road trip in 1983. Then the fabulous Jim Treacher blogged on the Daily Caller that Obama had, as a child, eaten dog meat.

Better the roof of the car, then the roof of the mouth, Jim astutely pointed out.

The “Obama eats dog” meme has exploded on the Internets, because, well, it’s just so gosh darn hilarious to make fun of it. Dog recipes, anyone? Hall & Oates lyrics changed from Maneater to Dogeater? Brilliant.

Some people (I’m look at you, Leif!) don’t think the thing is funny. There are so many other issues to talk about — this is just stupid. The above linked article from Steyn does a good job laying out exactly why we should be laughing about it: It contrasts the comic value of the situation with the ridiculous seriousness that those on the left take themselves. We laugh; they form a Dogs Against Romney PAC.

He writes:

The exploding cigars are revealing not merely of Democratic hypocrisy but of a key difference in worldview between liberals and conservatives. Jeremy Funk and Governor Schweitzer reflexively believe that their dog-eating polygamy-scion is different from the other guy’s dog-transporting polygamy-scion. This is nothing to do with young Barack being six or ten years old and meekly eating whatever was put in front of him. He was 34 years old when he wrote the passage quoted above and ten years older when he recorded the audio edition. And, as both versions make plain, he thinks it’s kinda cool, and he knows that to the average upscale white liberal it has the electric frisson of the exotic other.

Earlier in the article, Steyn had mentioned dog breeder Kate McMillan, who said the following of the criticism that you can’t blame a child for eating what’s put in front of him:

Try this experiment–sit a normal, American 6 year old down at a plate and tell him it’s dog meat. Watch what happens.

With that inspiration, I grabbed my iphone and recorded this video of my eight-year-old daughter:

After establishing the fact that the girl is a regular carnivore, I asked if she would eat dog meat. She shakes her head and I ask her why that is.

“Because I would think of eating Junie’s* friends … and plus it sounds gross.”

*Furbaby’s real name is June. I guess that cat is out of the bag.

Top 7 for the Week of April 6th

This week, Ashley and talked about:

  1. Are You Too Pretty for Friends? Or Is It Just Your Narcissism Driving People Away?
  2. Big Brother Gaming Consoles … Can’t the Government Leave Us Alone?
  3. Racisty Racist Voter ID Laws … Or Something
  4. George Zimmerman Still Isn’t a Racist … And Neither Is Jenny
  5. Obamacare Death Panels
  6. Mitt Romney Needs To Get a Clue About New Media
  7. The Latest with the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt

Plus we have a song, a dirty joke, a rant, and our Dude of the Week.

Happy listening!

 

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