So … I Went to Mormon Church.

There's a basketball court in there. No joke.

I figured what with a Mormon on his way to the White House and all, it might be an interesting and hopefully insightful experience to visit a worship service at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So I did what I usually do when I have a Mormon-y question, and asked Justin to take me.

So last Sunday we set out for an LDS sacrament meeting. That’s apparently what it’s called – not worship service. No big, just vernacular so far.

Mormons are nice, y’all. I know we’re not supposed to lump groups of people together and label them, but I’ve never come across a not-nice Mormon. Like most religions, there’s a good mix of young, old, white, black (and everything in between), tall, short, fat, thin, smart and not so smart … but they’re all freaking nice.

Oh, and they have a lot of kids, too. You have heard about the five Romney boys and the 18 Romney grandkids, right? It’s a stereotype for a reason, people.

Since Mormons are so nice, I met several people before the service meeting even started. A lot of college and grad students at the Cambridge ward (I think that’s the word for congregation?) in Massachusetts.

Before I forget, I’ll add a side note: While we walking to church, we passed a Starbucks and decided we were hungry. Neither of us had coffee. Justin had apple cider or something because Mormons don’t drink coffee, and I had my usual chai tea latte – no wait – I had a skinny salted caramel mocha. Never mind. I was going to say I was well on my way to the full Mormon experience of no coffee, but no. Move along, nothing to see here …

Photographic Evidence

Back to the church part – I met lots of nice people. The sanctuary (meeting room?) had pews a lot like ours. There was a big indoor basketball court in the middle of the building. Justin told me every ward (stake? Which one is the building and which one is the congregation?) has one.

The meeting was called to order, there was a prayer, and we sang a song out of the hymnal. I was pleased to discover it was just as abysmal as some of the ones in our Psalter. Loooong and in a key no one but Justin and a couple others could hit. Dude can sing. I mouthed the words. Everyone there silently thanked me without knowing it.

Then there was communion. I had asked ahead on the procedure for that, because at my church, you have to get permission from the elders before service if you’re not a member. In the United Reformed Church, you may only take communion if you’re a member of a gospel-preaching church and under the spiritual care of church leadership. Some churches leave this up to the individual’s conscience, but our particular congregation asks you to talk to someone first.

Anyway, Justin had said it was fine, but I felt weird about it because it’s such a sacred thing at our church, so I passed. But I’ll tell you about it anyway, because if you’ve read this far, you’re probably as fascinated by the LDS church as I am and are dying to know more.

First- the kids take communion. Justin says it doesn’t mean anything until they’re eight and baptized. All Mormons get baptized at eight in the way that babies are baptized in Calvinism and Baptists when they make a profession of faith. I got to go to a Mormon baptism once when one of Thing 1’s friends invited us to attend hers, and it was super cool. Maybe I’ll tell you about it some time.

Second- they passed it around and everyone sat in their seats and partook immediately rather than waiting and doing it together as a congregation.

Third- most, if not all reformed churches I’ve been to offer grape juice as an alternative to the wine. I figured that would be the case. Nope! It was water. Jesus turned the water to wine and the Mormons turned it back again. Go figure.

After communion, there were three “talks” that definitely weren’t sermons. And two of them were given by WOMEN. Soooooo weird for me to see women up at the podium, addressing the congregation at a Sunday worship service sacrament meeting. That does not happen in the URC. Not even a little bit.

Now let’s discuss these talks, mmmkay? They were really great. Super motivational, well thought out, and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Totally not sermons. “When do you do exegesis??” I whispered to Justin.

“Exe-what-us?”

“Exegesis! When the pastor takes a section of scripture and interprets it…”

Totally forgot that Mormons don’t have pastors in the way that evangelicals think of pastors. We only stayed for the first hour, and apparently Sunday School is where scripture study comes in, so I may have to go back sometime just to see what it’s like.

The other thing about the talks: I felt kinda like I was at a motivational conference. I wanted to clap for the speakers when they were finished, and I half expected them to take a bow. Like I said, they were definitely not sermons in the sense that I think of them.

Overall, I’m glad I went. Justin likes to tease me that he’ll make a Mormon out of me yet. That’s usually right before I punch him in the neck and tell him I’d get kicked out so fast it would be the shortest-lived Mormon membership in LDS history. I don’t know if y’all know this, but I really enjoy wine. Plus that whole continuing revelation thing that I don’t believe in.

I might will never be a Mormon. But they’re not scary. They don’t worship weird things, they don’t judge others (as a group, at least … I can’t account for every individual church member), and they are welcoming and friendly. They’re family oriented, but don’t disallow divorce. They honor mothers that stay home with the kids and the ones that work outside the home with equal regard.

They’re good people, y’all.

I gotta say one more thing before I leave this subject alone for the moment: MORMONISM IS NOT A CULT. I’d encourage anyone considering not voting for Mitt Romney because of his Mormon faith to go check out an LDS service meeting.

And try not to be as ginormous a dork as me telling everyone, “This is my first time!”

Oh, and if you ever want to check out a reformed church to see what my typical Sunday morning consists of, drop me a line and I’ll find you one in your area. We serve wine for communion. Just saying.

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  47. dan jerry says:

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  48. Mr lukas says:

    Welcome to the great
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    become richer once you join
    the brotherhood you will be be given 0ne Million dollars
    instantly and you will be
    earning $500,000,00.every 2 weeks.. join today and
    become richer and famous in life till death, I am one of
    the agents sent by the high priest to bring as many of
    those who are interested in
    becoming a member of the
    Illuminati to the great
    Illuminati temple, I was ones
    like you I could not even
    feed my family what kind of
    life was that I lived in
    poverty until I saw an opportunity to be a member
    of the great Illuminati
    brotherhood and I took my
    chances and I have been a
    member for close to 13
    years now and now this is your chances to also be a member all you need to do now is to send me a massage or comment on this page in order to get more information and you can also email us at (illuminaticult234@gmail.com) or call (+2348147870123) or (+2348127803956) whatsapp us as well (+2348147870123)….

  49. WARNING! WARNING!! WARNING!!! If you do not want to join the Illuminati do not read this message. Rules * You must be serious * You must have full access to the internet. * You must not discuss the secret of the Illuminati to anyone. * We are not interested in anyone who has obtained their knowledge about the Illuminati based on what they say and HEARD from Mass Media (News or Performing Arts), Conspiracy Theorists (Amateur or Professional Authors or Speculators), Internet Rumors, or other HERESY. * The lord father of all Illuminati has create the easy way to join the Illuminati brotherhood in the world. Are you a business man or an artist,Politicians and you want to become big, Powerful and famous in the world, join us to become one of our official member today. you shall be given an ideal chance to visit the lord father and his representative after registrations is completed by you, what you need to do to become a full member of the great Illuminati is just for you to get the membership form and get some items for sacrifice but human life is not needed, Illuminati brotherhood brings along wealth and famous in life, you have a full access to eradicate poverty, hardness, frustration and fear away from your life now join the Illuminati brotherhood within one week of your membership you will achieved the greatest goal in life and also have wealth and fame. * No one discard the message of the GREAT ILLUMINATI if discarded the person will be tormented both day and night. * Failure to compel to the order and rules of the GREAT ILLUMINATI, your wealth, riches and fame shall be size by the lord father of all the illuminati * The money ALWAYS flows TOWARDS Illuminati members…And AWAY from NON Illuminati members… One of the rules of the Illuminati is “We don’t talk about the Illuminati” so I can’t say too much about it here. If you are truly interested Email these address :Smithderison@gmail.com Or call me on my private phone number +2348132571730 and realize your dreams come through…….

  50. WARNING! WARNING!! WARNING!!! If you do not want to join the Illuminati do not read this message. Rules * You must be serious * You must have full access to the internet. * You must not discuss the secret of the Illuminati to anyone. * We are not interested in anyone who has obtained their knowledge about the Illuminati based on what they say and HEARD from Mass Media (News or Performing Arts), Conspiracy Theorists (Amateur or Professional Authors or Speculators), Internet Rumors, or other HERESY. * The lord father of all Illuminati has create the easy way to join the Illuminati brotherhood in the world. Are you a business man or an artist,Politicians and you want to become big, Powerful and famous in the world, join us to become one of our official member today. you shall be given an ideal chance to visit the lord father and his representative after registrations is completed by you, what you need to do to become a full member of the great Illuminati is just for you to get the membership form and get some items for sacrifice but human life is not needed, Illuminati brotherhood brings along wealth and famous in life, you have a full access to eradicate poverty, hardness, frustration and fear away from your life now join the Illuminati brotherhood within one week of your membership you will achieved the greatest goal in life and also have wealth and fame. * No one discard the message of the GREAT ILLUMINATI if discarded the person will be tormented both day and night. * Failure to compel to the order and rules of the GREAT ILLUMINATI, your wealth, riches and fame shall be size by the lord father of all the illuminati * The money ALWAYS flows TOWARDS Illuminati members…And AWAY from NON Illuminati members… One of the rules of the Illuminati is “We don’t talk about the Illuminati” so I can’t say too much about it here. If you are truly interested Email these address :Smithderison@gmail.com Or call me on my private phone number +2348132571730 and realize your dreams come through…………

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