So … I Went to Mormon Church.

There's a basketball court in there. No joke.

I figured what with a Mormon on his way to the White House and all, it might be an interesting and hopefully insightful experience to visit a worship service at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So I did what I usually do when I have a Mormon-y question, and asked Justin to take me.

So last Sunday we set out for an LDS sacrament meeting. That’s apparently what it’s called – not worship service. No big, just vernacular so far.

Mormons are nice, y’all. I know we’re not supposed to lump groups of people together and label them, but I’ve never come across a not-nice Mormon. Like most religions, there’s a good mix of young, old, white, black (and everything in between), tall, short, fat, thin, smart and not so smart … but they’re all freaking nice.

Oh, and they have a lot of kids, too. You have heard about the five Romney boys and the 18 Romney grandkids, right? It’s a stereotype for a reason, people.

Since Mormons are so nice, I met several people before the service meeting even started. A lot of college and grad students at the Cambridge ward (I think that’s the word for congregation?) in Massachusetts.

Before I forget, I’ll add a side note: While we walking to church, we passed a Starbucks and decided we were hungry. Neither of us had coffee. Justin had apple cider or something because Mormons don’t drink coffee, and I had my usual chai tea latte – no wait – I had a skinny salted caramel mocha. Never mind. I was going to say I was well on my way to the full Mormon experience of no coffee, but no. Move along, nothing to see here …

Photographic Evidence

Back to the church part – I met lots of nice people. The sanctuary (meeting room?) had pews a lot like ours. There was a big indoor basketball court in the middle of the building. Justin told me every ward (stake? Which one is the building and which one is the congregation?) has one.

The meeting was called to order, there was a prayer, and we sang a song out of the hymnal. I was pleased to discover it was just as abysmal as some of the ones in our Psalter. Loooong and in a key no one but Justin and a couple others could hit. Dude can sing. I mouthed the words. Everyone there silently thanked me without knowing it.

Then there was communion. I had asked ahead on the procedure for that, because at my church, you have to get permission from the elders before service if you’re not a member. In the United Reformed Church, you may only take communion if you’re a member of a gospel-preaching church and under the spiritual care of church leadership. Some churches leave this up to the individual’s conscience, but our particular congregation asks you to talk to someone first.

Anyway, Justin had said it was fine, but I felt weird about it because it’s such a sacred thing at our church, so I passed. But I’ll tell you about it anyway, because if you’ve read this far, you’re probably as fascinated by the LDS church as I am and are dying to know more.

First- the kids take communion. Justin says it doesn’t mean anything until they’re eight and baptized. All Mormons get baptized at eight in the way that babies are baptized in Calvinism and Baptists when they make a profession of faith. I got to go to a Mormon baptism once when one of Thing 1’s friends invited us to attend hers, and it was super cool. Maybe I’ll tell you about it some time.

Second- they passed it around and everyone sat in their seats and partook immediately rather than waiting and doing it together as a congregation.

Third- most, if not all reformed churches I’ve been to offer grape juice as an alternative to the wine. I figured that would be the case. Nope! It was water. Jesus turned the water to wine and the Mormons turned it back again. Go figure.

After communion, there were three “talks” that definitely weren’t sermons. And two of them were given by WOMEN. Soooooo weird for me to see women up at the podium, addressing the congregation at a Sunday worship service sacrament meeting. That does not happen in the URC. Not even a little bit.

Now let’s discuss these talks, mmmkay? They were really great. Super motivational, well thought out, and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Totally not sermons. “When do you do exegesis??” I whispered to Justin.

“Exe-what-us?”

“Exegesis! When the pastor takes a section of scripture and interprets it…”

Totally forgot that Mormons don’t have pastors in the way that evangelicals think of pastors. We only stayed for the first hour, and apparently Sunday School is where scripture study comes in, so I may have to go back sometime just to see what it’s like.

The other thing about the talks: I felt kinda like I was at a motivational conference. I wanted to clap for the speakers when they were finished, and I half expected them to take a bow. Like I said, they were definitely not sermons in the sense that I think of them.

Overall, I’m glad I went. Justin likes to tease me that he’ll make a Mormon out of me yet. That’s usually right before I punch him in the neck and tell him I’d get kicked out so fast it would be the shortest-lived Mormon membership in LDS history. I don’t know if y’all know this, but I really enjoy wine. Plus that whole continuing revelation thing that I don’t believe in.

I might will never be a Mormon. But they’re not scary. They don’t worship weird things, they don’t judge others (as a group, at least … I can’t account for every individual church member), and they are welcoming and friendly. They’re family oriented, but don’t disallow divorce. They honor mothers that stay home with the kids and the ones that work outside the home with equal regard.

They’re good people, y’all.

I gotta say one more thing before I leave this subject alone for the moment: MORMONISM IS NOT A CULT. I’d encourage anyone considering not voting for Mitt Romney because of his Mormon faith to go check out an LDS service meeting.

And try not to be as ginormous a dork as me telling everyone, “This is my first time!”

Oh, and if you ever want to check out a reformed church to see what my typical Sunday morning consists of, drop me a line and I’ll find you one in your area. We serve wine for communion. Just saying.

Comments

  1. Do you want to be a member of Illuminati brotherhood so that you can be
    rich for ever and it can also make your name famous and powerful to control
    people in high places in the world.are you a Politicians,
    Musicians,Business Man/Woman,here is the wright place were your poverty we
    be to an end and opportunity to become a member of the GREAT
    Illuminati.Illuminati will give you talent to become what ever you want to
    become in life without any stress you will famous. any new member of
    Illuminati will be giving the sum of ten million US DOLLARS once you have
    be initiated then you will get more benefits,you will live long life no
    blood sacrifice .if you are interested kindly contact us now i live in
    Europe am here to help you to become a member of illuminati no matter the
    country you are contact us now . antoniocaso666@gmail.com or call +393510025283.

  2. Dwain Mertins says:

    ARE YOU INTERESTED IN THE WORLD OF FAME?? GETTING RICH,BEING POWERFUL AND FAMOUS? JOINING THE ILLUMINATI TODAY AND BECOME RICH.ILLUMINATI BRINGS YOU INTO THE LIMELIGHT OF THE WORLD IN WHICH YOU LIVE IN TODAY. YOUR FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES ARE BROUGHT TO AN END IF YOU JOIN. WE SUPPORT YOU BOTH FINANCIALLY AND MATERIALLY TO ENSURE YOU LIVE A COMFORTABLE LIFE.JOIN ILLUMINATI AND GET YOUR SELF A HOUSE AND A CAR AND ALSO WITH THE SUM OF (ONE MILLION DOLLARS) BENEFITS GIVEN TO NEW MEMBERS WHO JOIN ILLUMINATI.

    1. A Cash Reward of one million dollars
    2.A Dream House bought in the country of your own choice and a car
    3.A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World
    4.A total Lifestyle change
    5.Monthly payment of $500,000.00 USD into your bank account every month as a member

    If you are interested of joining us in the great brotherhood Illuminati riches satanic hand symbol contact our Email- worldilluminatigrandlodge@outlook.com call or whatsapp +2348099717555 Mr.Dwain martins

  3. James Olan says:

    Here comes an Easy way to become a member of the world’s famous brotherhood {Illuminati}. For working class, Business men/ women, artist, Politicians that wants to become bigger, Powerful and Influential in the world, join us to become one of our official member today. You shall be given an ideal chance to visit the Illuminati circle after registration is completed by you, no sacrifice or human life needed, Illuminati brotherhood brings along protection, power, wealth and fame in life. You have a full access to eradicate poverty from your generation. It only an existing member of the circle of Illuminati that has the authority to introduce any member to the circle. So before you contact us, you must be above 18yrs and once you become a member you will be entitled to all the benefits for the rest of your life. So if you are ready to become a member, contact me on email: jamesdollins17@gmail.com or call/whatsapp +2349050071327, 978-574-3273 for further details.

  4. john johnson says:

    Hello Every One, I am mrs rose kari From texas U.S.A, I quickly want to use
    this medium to share a testimony on how i was directed me to a Legit
    and real illuminati member who have transformed my life from grass to
    grace, from being poor to a rich woman who can now boast of a healthy and
    wealthy life without stress or financial difficulties. After so many months
    of trying to to be a member of the illuminati and was scammed the sum of
    $3,000 i became so desperate in being a member online who will not add to
    my pains, then i decided to contact a friend of mine who recently became a
    member, we discussed about the issue and to our conclusion she told me
    about a man called james Ihibor who is the grand master in the whole of
    Africa. So i applied to
    become a member of illuminati easily without stress and all the
    preparations where made concerning how to become a member in three(3) days i
    became a member and the sum of 1.5 million dollars was deposited into my
    bank account so i want to advice any one who wants to become a member
    should call him via info,+2347051398023 or WhatsApp him +2347051398023 or via
    email (keenthjames235@gmail.com@gmail.com.
    he does not know am doing
    this i pray that lucifer will bless him for the good things
    he has done in my life.

  5. I would definitely not recommend these as ways to break the ice however.

  6. I gotta preferred this web web page it appears very valuable quite advantageous

  7. This website was how do you say it? Relevant!!

  8. JOIN THE NEW WORLD ORDER OF ILLUMINATI AND HAVE ALL YOUR DESIRES IN LIFE.
    “NO HUMAN SACRIFICE”.

    THE OCCULT FESTIVAL IS HERE AGAIN! Join the ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD online
    today for Riches, Fame, Power and all round Success. Every new member(s)
    receive undeniable rewards of � U.S dollars plus other material benefits
    immediately after initiation. This is to succor or help the new member fit
    the class and status of the club members. New member(s) also receive � U.S
    dollars as monthly salary. Note that the higher you go in the society, the
    better your life becomes. Join us today and become rich, famous and
    successful. For more information, Contact us with the email or the cell
    phone number displayed below. Contact us today as we prepare you for your
    initiation.
    Make good use of this great opportunity and have all your desires in life.

    Email : templeilluminati515@gmail.com
    WhatsApp:+2348143257359 �

  9. Thank you, I have just been searching for information approximately this subject for ages and yours is the best I have came upon till now. But, what concerning the conclusion? Are you certain in regards to the supply?

  10. What’s up it’s me, I am also visiting this site daily, this website is actually pleasant and the visitors are really sharing fastidious thoughts.

  11. Farmville farms even include free gift that

  12. Randy Grand says:

    I am giving a testimony of how i become rich and famous today, i was deeply strangled up by poverty and i had no body to help me, and also i search for help from different corners but to no avail… i see people around me getting rich but to me i was so ashamed of my self so i met a man on my way he was very rich and he was a doctor so he told me something, that if i would like to join the illuminati brotherhood, and i think over it though out the day so the next day i looked up and i keep repeating what he said to me, and i make up my mind to join the illuminati, today i am so proud of myself, because i am a great man today, well know in the world, rich, famous so if you are also interested to join the illuminati, you are free to join, if you live in America it is free to join the illuminati brotherhood temple, you have to email: churchofdevilinitiationcenter@gmail.com call or text +15084434778 join the illuminati today and enjoy good life with you and your generation.

  13. Valuable information. Lucky me I found your site by accident, and I am shocked why this accident did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.

  14. Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Extremely useful information specially the last part

  15. john mark says:

    i am giving a testimony on how i become rich and famous today… i was deeply
    strangled up by poverty and i had no body to help me, and also i search for
    help from different corners but to know invail. i see people around me getting
    rich but to me i was so ashamed of my self so i met a man on my way he was
    very rich and he was a doctor so he told me something and i think over it
    though out the day so the next day i looked up and i keep repeating what he
    said to me. ” if you want to get rich quick and be famous” you need to
    cross your heart and do what is in your mind so i tried all i could in
    other for me to do as he said so later on i told my fellow friend about
    this same thing then my friend was interested in my suggestions so i
    decided to look in the internet and i found an email address
    johnwilliamsilluminatisociety@gmail.com so we decided to contact them and
    unfortunately we did as they instruct us to do and later they told us to
    get some requirements and all the rest… so this initiation took us just a
    week and later on the great fraternity gave us $50,000.00 USD to start up
    our lives…. and now am testifying that if in any case you want to join any
    great fraternity all you need to do is for you to contact them because they
    are legitimate and they do as what they instructed them to do okay so email
    them now at (johnwilliamsilluminatisociety@gmail.com) call me +2348121010445 or
    whatsapp me on this number +2348121010445

  16. Justin Nez says:

    Hello everyone here is an opportunity for you.if you want to join the great Illuminati brotherhood to be Rich and famous in life.and posses power if you are interested content him immediately. CONTACT AGENT Shawn Peterson call (+1 313 263 5463)or Whats App him +1 707 220 3224 or email: shawn_p@consultant.com

  17. I usually do not drop a comment, but I read a few

  18. Lord williams says:

    WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI WORLD OF RICHIES, FAME AND POWERS. ARE YOU A POLITICIANS, DOCTOR, ENGINEER, MODEL, GRADUATE, STUDENT, BUSINESSMAN OR WOMAN SEEKING FOR WISDOM, FAME, POWER, KNOWLEDGE AND WEALTH!!! THIS IS A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY The great illuminati organization will make you Rich, Powerful, famous and wealthy.You can achieve all your dreams and heart desire by being a member of the illuminati brotherhood, Long life and prosperity here on earth with eternal life and jubilation..if you really want to become a member of the great illuminati contact us today VIA:Joinilluminatiworld97@gmail.com or WhatsApp +233238666703

  19. Dwain Mertins says:

    JOIN THE GREAT ILLUMINATI BROTHER HOOD TODAY AND LIVE A BETTER AND HAPPY LIFE.

    Do you need an urgent financial help, join us now and receive an instant sum of $500,000.00, after been Registered and $3,000.00 as your monthly salary, you want to be world wild recognize in all you do for great fame riches power, Join Illuminati for Business Improvement, join Illuminati for office position, join Illuminati for great power and spiritual backup for any thing police problem, cult problem, if you are interested Contact us today via: worldilluminatigrandlodge@outlook.com or WhatsApp: +2348099717555

  20. WELCOME TO THE GREAT BROTHERHOOD. ILLUMINATI.contact us now illuminatitemple03@gmail or you whatsapp or call our agent number +2347062982173 .? Do you want to be a member of Illuminati as a brotherhood that will make you rich and famous in the world and have power to control people in the high place in the worldwide Are you a business man or woman, artist, politician , musician, student, pastor,Footballer or basket baler do you want to be rich, famous, powerful in life,join the Illuminati brotherhood cult today and get instant rich sum of. 2 million-dollars in a week, and a free home.any where you choose to live in this wonderland also get 10,000,000 U.S dollars monthly as a salary %u2026 BENEFIT GIVEN TO NEW MEMBERS WHO JOIN ILLUMINATI. 1. A Cash Reward of USD$500,000 USD 2. A New Sleek Dream CAR valued at USD $300,000 USD 3.A Dream House bought in the country of your own choice 4. One Month holiday(fully paid) to your dream tourist destination. 5.One year package 6.A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World 7.A total Lifestyle change 8.Access to Bohemian Grove 9.Monthly payment of $5,000,000Usdinto your bank account every month as a member 10.One Month booked Appointment with Top 5 world Leaders and Top 5 Celebrities in the World. If you are interested of joining us in the great brotherhood illuminati666 satanic hand symbol contact us now.>??<<

  21. ehijator adebayo says:

    My name is Mr. EHIJATOR ADEBAYO, I am 33 years old and I based in Canada. I want to notify the general public how I was helped by Illuminati temple in regaining back my business position after been sacked for about a year and six months. I have been in pains and trouble since when I was sacked from the company where I work called Canada Deposit Insurance corporation in Ottawa (headquarter) in Canada as an agency executive. I have been hopeless, financially down through out that year. But one day as I was browsing through the Internet I came across the testimony posted by Mrs Thereasa Mathew on how an Illuminati agent SMITH helped her, saying you can be famous, rich and successful in life by been a member of the great Illuminati Brotherhood, immediately I contacted him and I explained everything to him and he recommended me and he helped me by initiating me to the Great Illuminati Brotherhood and also he gave me all the guidelines and told me their place of worship here in Canada. With the help of Mr. SMITH I was able to go to the temple and there I was initiated fully as a complete Illuminati member. Surprisinly 40 hours after I was initiated, I received a call from the company that I have been accepted back again as the agency executive of the company at first I was shocked and surprised but latter regain myself, I was told to resume work the next day by 7:00am. Starting from that day I and my family had been living a joyful and a luxurious life. So viewers who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati Brotherhood and also wants to be famous, rich, wealthy and gain power should peacefully contact Mr. SMITH on his email address on (illuminatiworldofsociety1@gmail.com) or you can as well call/whatsapp him on +2349055346865.

  22. HELLO EVERYONE THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY.JOIN THE GREAT ILLUMINATI CALL +2348154692747AND GET RICH WE PROVED MONEY TO PEOPLE THAT ARE MEMBER SO WE WELCOME YOU TO JOIN NOW SAY BY BY TO POVERTY AND GET 18MILLION AFTER INITIATION CALL OR WHASSAP ONE OF THE GREAT HIRE PRIEST IN NIGERIA +2348154692747or eamil;;agentadamsjohnson@gmail.com If you do not want to join the Illuminati do not read this message. Rules * You must be above 18 years of age. * You must have full access to the internet. * You must not discuss the secret of the Illuminati to anyone. * We are not interested in anyone who has obtained their knowledge about the Illuminati based on what they %u2019ve HEARD from Mass Media (News or Performing Arts), Conspiracy Theorists (Amateur or Professional Authors or Speculators), Internet Rumors, or other HERESY. * Once you join the Illuminati within one week of your membership you will achieved the greatest goal in life and also have wealth and fame and 18millionusd we be give to you ask a new member. * No one discard the message of the GREAT ILLUMINATI if discarded the person will be tormented both day and night.Failure to compel to the order and rules of the GREAT ILLUMINATI shall see your fame and riches takenback. * The money ALWAYS flows TOWARDS Illuminati members…And AWAY from NON Illuminati members… One of the rules of the Illuminati is”We don’t talk about the Illuminati”so I can’t say too much about it here. If you are truly interested and get back to me via email?.agentadamsjohnson@gmail.com call +2348154692747 Do not play mind games that is how when i want to join the illuminati i was think if this is going to work until i met this right man and call him;’; +2348154692747 thank the great illuminati?

Speak Your Mind

*

Protected with IP Blacklist CloudIP Blacklist Cloud