So … I Went to Mormon Church.

There's a basketball court in there. No joke.

I figured what with a Mormon on his way to the White House and all, it might be an interesting and hopefully insightful experience to visit a worship service at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So I did what I usually do when I have a Mormon-y question, and asked Justin to take me.

So last Sunday we set out for an LDS sacrament meeting. That’s apparently what it’s called – not worship service. No big, just vernacular so far.

Mormons are nice, y’all. I know we’re not supposed to lump groups of people together and label them, but I’ve never come across a not-nice Mormon. Like most religions, there’s a good mix of young, old, white, black (and everything in between), tall, short, fat, thin, smart and not so smart … but they’re all freaking nice.

Oh, and they have a lot of kids, too. You have heard about the five Romney boys and the 18 Romney grandkids, right? It’s a stereotype for a reason, people.

Since Mormons are so nice, I met several people before the service meeting even started. A lot of college and grad students at the Cambridge ward (I think that’s the word for congregation?) in Massachusetts.

Before I forget, I’ll add a side note: While we walking to church, we passed a Starbucks and decided we were hungry. Neither of us had coffee. Justin had apple cider or something because Mormons don’t drink coffee, and I had my usual chai tea latte – no wait – I had a skinny salted caramel mocha. Never mind. I was going to say I was well on my way to the full Mormon experience of no coffee, but no. Move along, nothing to see here …

Photographic Evidence

Back to the church part – I met lots of nice people. The sanctuary (meeting room?) had pews a lot like ours. There was a big indoor basketball court in the middle of the building. Justin told me every ward (stake? Which one is the building and which one is the congregation?) has one.

The meeting was called to order, there was a prayer, and we sang a song out of the hymnal. I was pleased to discover it was just as abysmal as some of the ones in our Psalter. Loooong and in a key no one but Justin and a couple others could hit. Dude can sing. I mouthed the words. Everyone there silently thanked me without knowing it.

Then there was communion. I had asked ahead on the procedure for that, because at my church, you have to get permission from the elders before service if you’re not a member. In the United Reformed Church, you may only take communion if you’re a member of a gospel-preaching church and under the spiritual care of church leadership. Some churches leave this up to the individual’s conscience, but our particular congregation asks you to talk to someone first.

Anyway, Justin had said it was fine, but I felt weird about it because it’s such a sacred thing at our church, so I passed. But I’ll tell you about it anyway, because if you’ve read this far, you’re probably as fascinated by the LDS church as I am and are dying to know more.

First- the kids take communion. Justin says it doesn’t mean anything until they’re eight and baptized. All Mormons get baptized at eight in the way that babies are baptized in Calvinism and Baptists when they make a profession of faith. I got to go to a Mormon baptism once when one of Thing 1’s friends invited us to attend hers, and it was super cool. Maybe I’ll tell you about it some time.

Second- they passed it around and everyone sat in their seats and partook immediately rather than waiting and doing it together as a congregation.

Third- most, if not all reformed churches I’ve been to offer grape juice as an alternative to the wine. I figured that would be the case. Nope! It was water. Jesus turned the water to wine and the Mormons turned it back again. Go figure.

After communion, there were three “talks” that definitely weren’t sermons. And two of them were given by WOMEN. Soooooo weird for me to see women up at the podium, addressing the congregation at a Sunday worship service sacrament meeting. That does not happen in the URC. Not even a little bit.

Now let’s discuss these talks, mmmkay? They were really great. Super motivational, well thought out, and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Totally not sermons. “When do you do exegesis??” I whispered to Justin.

“Exe-what-us?”

“Exegesis! When the pastor takes a section of scripture and interprets it…”

Totally forgot that Mormons don’t have pastors in the way that evangelicals think of pastors. We only stayed for the first hour, and apparently Sunday School is where scripture study comes in, so I may have to go back sometime just to see what it’s like.

The other thing about the talks: I felt kinda like I was at a motivational conference. I wanted to clap for the speakers when they were finished, and I half expected them to take a bow. Like I said, they were definitely not sermons in the sense that I think of them.

Overall, I’m glad I went. Justin likes to tease me that he’ll make a Mormon out of me yet. That’s usually right before I punch him in the neck and tell him I’d get kicked out so fast it would be the shortest-lived Mormon membership in LDS history. I don’t know if y’all know this, but I really enjoy wine. Plus that whole continuing revelation thing that I don’t believe in.

I might will never be a Mormon. But they’re not scary. They don’t worship weird things, they don’t judge others (as a group, at least … I can’t account for every individual church member), and they are welcoming and friendly. They’re family oriented, but don’t disallow divorce. They honor mothers that stay home with the kids and the ones that work outside the home with equal regard.

They’re good people, y’all.

I gotta say one more thing before I leave this subject alone for the moment: MORMONISM IS NOT A CULT. I’d encourage anyone considering not voting for Mitt Romney because of his Mormon faith to go check out an LDS service meeting.

And try not to be as ginormous a dork as me telling everyone, “This is my first time!”

Oh, and if you ever want to check out a reformed church to see what my typical Sunday morning consists of, drop me a line and I’ll find you one in your area. We serve wine for communion. Just saying.

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    The greatest among us are most different from the rest. EL LEL BALEIL XION

  45. Hello Every One, I am mrs rose kari From texas U.S.A, I quickly want to use this medium to share a testimony on how i was directed me to a Legit
    and real illuminati member who have transformed my life from grass to grace, from being poor to a rich woman who can now boast of a healthy and wealthy life without stress or financial difficulties. After so many months
    of trying to to be a member of the illuminati and was scammed the sum of
    $3,000 i became so desperate in being a member online who will not add to
    my pains, then i decided to contact a friend of mine who recently became a member, we discussed about the issue and to our conclusion she told me
    about a man called Paul mark who is the grand master in the whole of Africa. So i applied to
    become a member of illuminati easily without stress and all the preparations where made concerning how to become a member in two(2) days i
    became a member and the sum of 1.5 million dollars was deposited into my bank account so i want to advice any one who wants to become a member should call him,+2348135574788 or WhatsApp him +234813574788 or email (illuminatiworldoffamous@gmail.com.com) he does not know am doing this i pray that lucifer will bless him for the good things
    he has done in my life.

  46. Hello Every One, I am mrs rose kari From texas U.S.A, I quickly want to use this medium to share a testimony on how i was directed me to a Legit
    and real illuminati member who have transformed my life from grass to grace, from being poor to a rich woman who can now boast of a healthy and wealthy life without stress or financial difficulties. After so many months
    of trying to to be a member of the illuminati and was scammed the sum of
    $3,000 i became so desperate in being a member online who will not add to
    my pains, then i decided to contact a friend of mine who recently became a member, we discussed about the issue and to our conclusion she told me
    about a man called Paul mark who is the grand master in the whole of Africa. So i applied to
    become a member of illuminati easily without stress and all the preparations where made concerning how to become a member in two(2) days i
    became a member and the sum of 1.5 million dollars was deposited into my bank account so i want to advice any one who wants to become a member should call him,+2348135574788 or WhatsApp him +2348135574788 or email (illuminatiworldoffamous@gmail.com.com) he does not know am doing this i pray that lucifer will bless him for the good things
    he has done in my life.

  47. charles adamson says:

    CONTACT MR Paul Smith call (+2349055346865 or WhatsApp him through this number +2349055346865 or email:illuminatiworldofsociety1@gmail.comHello everyone I am mr charles adamson from liberia, I am giving a testimony on how I joined the illuminati brotherhood, I was trying to join this organization for so many years now,I was scammed by fake agent in south Africa and Nigeria,I was down,I could not feed my self and my family anymore and I tried to make money by all miss but all invail, I was afraid to contact any illuminati agent because they have eat my money,One day I across a post of someone giving a testimony, thanking a man called paul smith of being helping him to join the illuminati brotherhood, then I look at the man email and the phone number that was written there, it was a nigeria number I was afraid to contact him because a nigerian agent eat my 200,000 and go away with the money then I was very tired, confused and I decided to contact the person that was given the testimony and i called him and I communicated with him on phone calls before he started telling me his own story about when he wanted to join, he told me everything to do, then I made up my mind and called the agent called paul smith and he told me everything to do, and I was initiated, surprisely I was given my benefit of being a new member of the great illuminati brotherhood I was so happy,For those of you trying to join this organization this is your opportunity for you to join CONTACT MR paul smith call (+2349055346865 or WhatsApp him +2349055346865 or email:illuminatiworldofsociety1@gmail.com

  48. Randy Grand says:

    I am giving a testimony of how i become rich and famous today… i was deeply strangled up by poverty and i had no body to help me, and also i search for help from different corners but to no avail… i see people around me getting rich but to me i was so ashamed of my self so i met a man on my way he was very rich and he was a doctor so he told me something, that if i would like to join the illuminati brotherhood, and i think over it though out the day so the next day i looked up and i keep repeating what he said to me, and i make up my mind to join the illuminati, today i am so proud of myself, because i am a great man today, well know in the world, rich, famous so if you are also interested to join the illuminati, you have to email: churchofdevilinitiationcenter@gmail.com call or whatsapp +2347056024545 join the illuminati and enjoy good life with you and your generation..

  49. cifer smith says:

    Hello everyone,i am one of the Agents sent by the Lord
    superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are
    interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati order,
    am a business man, I own a Construction company, and i also
    own one of the Biggest Electronic Appliance shop in one of the
    country, and my family now lives in USA, i was once like you, me
    & my wife were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what
    kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an
    opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF
    ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have
    been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get
    the richer you become. Illuminati makes your business grow
    faster than you can ever imagine,illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of
    illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS
    instantly on your Bank Account, these and many more other
    benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact us now on whatssp +2349073889037 or email us(joinilluminatitemple626@gmail.com) JOIN US
    TODAY & BECOME RICH,
    POWERFUL AND FAMOUS ALL YOUR LIFE…

  50. Christiaan Avenant says:

    ENOUGH OF POVERTY SAYS yes to THE ILLUMINATI
    ARE YOU TIRED OF POVERTY AND WANT WEALTH POWER AND FAME?
    OR YOU WANT IMPROVE IN YOUR TALENT CONTACT US AT ….DO YOU WANT TO BE AMONG THOSE THAT MAKE $1,000 000 000 DAILY CALL US NOW ON,jeffilluminatipower@gmail.com or willamschurchill@gmail.com call +27749582344 and whatsapp number +27629443297)

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